I don't understand why I do this but every time I am in a social event I typically enjoy myself (on edge but manage to get through it - I actually like most people, I just don't trust them) but the next day I agonize over everything I said and I did. I feel sick and the black cloud of doom hits me. I can barely function. I try to force myself to go to events because practice makes perfect, right?!? LOL I'm 50. I constantly wish I was dead....I do not share that with anyone (I'm not an attention seeker) CBT doesn't really work - works great for quitting smoking, but that's about it. Any suggestions. I won't kill myself I have children that are dependant on me and I really don't want to make them as damage as me....however I wish I was dead runs pretty much on a loop....
Hello and welcome to you, Kat! Sure sounds familiar to me, the same thing happens to me whenever I go out. I'm pretty sure it's my inner critic, ripping me apart for every perceived social infraction. I can combat this by doing work around the inner critic and/or outer critic, and going thru Pete Walker's 13 steps for managing an emotional flashback (EF).
Pete's 13 steps can be found here - http://pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
Best of luck to you and thanks for joining!
Mmmmm... social anxiety can be explained by dissociation and emotional numbness. Do you think it may be your case?
Hi kat,
I have the exact same thing.
I feel terrible the next day, as if I have committed some sort of crime.
I tried to explain it to a psych and all I could come up with is that I am friendly and sociable and people seem to like me but the next day I realise I am not that person and people will think I am friendly and OK when I'm not.
Its as if I have let my guard down, let people get too close or lost control in some way.
Its really unpleasant, I tend to avoid seeing people I like and who clearly like me because of this 'day after' feeling.
I didn't know others had this too, its a really distressing feeling. I feel shamed and literally shout and swear at myself over nothing.
I don't know about inner critics and haven't read up on stuff, I just know it hurts.