Trying to figure it all out

[Denise Darnell]

Hi, I'm new here.
I'm spiraling out of control in several different domains of my life and am joining support groups to trying to figure out what went wrong.  So I can fix it.

Came from a family where the dysfunction goes back generations and want to stop it with me.

I'm willing to do the hard work.  I'm reluctant to assign hero's and villains to my life story narrative.

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome. Good for you for wanting to stop the dysfunction. I look forward to getting to know you more and wish you well on your healing journey.

[Kizzie]

Welcome Denise!

[Blueberry]

Welcome Denise

I'm not too keen on assigning diagnoses in my FOO (family of origin), except where an actual diagnosis exists, like somebody other than me has depression. So, if you let everybody on here know, as you have done, that you don't want to assign heros and villains then that will be respected, I hope.

[blue_sky]

Welcome to the forum Denise!
You're definitely in the right track and on the right forum!

[Papa Coco]

Welcome Denise,

I'm so sorry to hear you're spiraling out of control right now. But I'm very glad to see that you're reaching for a steady anchor to settle you down. I know the feeling of spiraling all too well. Reaching out is the very best strategy. Here, reaching out to this forum is helpful because most all of us know how it feels to spiral. We listen carefully to each other, and we offer any kind words, or even sometimes suggestions to help each other stop the spiraling. Often, just having people who can hear what you're saying, and who have spiraled a mile in your shoes, can help calm the anxiety.

It's holiday season here in the US, and holidays tend to send a lot of us into spirals. There's so much history of family trauma-drama during holiday season.

I hope you are able to find solace and some peace here. This forum has been a godsend for me for more than two years now. I hope we can help you regain some sense of control.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

[BecomingMe]

Welcome Denise  . I just joined recently myself and relate exactly to how you're feeling. And it has already helped me so much finding others who truly "get it" and where I can come and express myself knowing there is empathy, compassion and support. And some of the resources (especially in music recommendations) are also helping me a lot. I hope you can also find comfort and support here as you find your feet again.

[Kizzie]

Just popping back in as I thought of a book you may be interested in.  It's called "It Didn't Start with You" by Mark Wolynn and is all about intergenerational transmission of trauma. 

[Sunshine88]

I can relate to generational dysfunction and having it cease to continue after oneself. If there's no villain in your story, there's no need to make any, we are all human; I'd venture to say you are the hero in your life though, you are here after all.

I hope I can help you with your journey and will check my messages often if you do reach out. I have committed myself to helping so many people who were not committed themselves; if you are, I am too.

🤗 ☀️

[Larry]

welcome Denise