"How do I stop beating myself up for choices I didn't make, things I didn't strive for, problems with relationships"
I read this and heard my therapist answer since I've said similar so, so many times: grieve. I hate that answer. But there's something to it. You said it yourself: too much of this was chosen for you. The best thing you can do is honor what was lost or never was by grieving. Little by little, it helps.
Be super gentle with yourself. Re-read what Woodsgnome said...there's a lot of wisdom there as well. Don't forget that you matter.
I read this and heard my therapist answer since I've said similar so, so many times: grieve. I hate that answer. But there's something to it. You said it yourself: too much of this was chosen for you. The best thing you can do is honor what was lost or never was by grieving. Little by little, it helps.
Be super gentle with yourself. Re-read what Woodsgnome said...there's a lot of wisdom there as well. Don't forget that you matter.