My condolences, JDog, and I'm sorry that because of this late communication the chance of saying goodbye at the funeral will be denied to you.
Last year, I had to say goodbye to my grandma by myself. It was sad and not fair - but I did it my own way and I feel at peace - I feel that things between me and my grandma are ok. No FOO games can take away from us what we did have. That knowledge helped me a lot in my grief (both the grief over her death as the grief about being denied the opportunity to attend her funeral).
I hope you'll find a way to say goodbye to your cousin and to grieve his death in a way that will bring you peace.
Last year, I had to say goodbye to my grandma by myself. It was sad and not fair - but I did it my own way and I feel at peace - I feel that things between me and my grandma are ok. No FOO games can take away from us what we did have. That knowledge helped me a lot in my grief (both the grief over her death as the grief about being denied the opportunity to attend her funeral).
I hope you'll find a way to say goodbye to your cousin and to grieve his death in a way that will bring you peace.