other people complaining - trigger for anyone else?

[jennyjenny]

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've been on here. I hope everyone is doing well!    I have made a new friend this year, and as a result I  have realized that I think other people complaining is a trigger for me.     

I am wondering if anyone else has this issue? Especially any forum members who have made significant CPTSD recovery and are at the "end" of the recovery process (I own my own business, am NC with all FOO, both parents are dead now, most people don't even know or say they can't tell I have this CPTSD. But I have it. I feel it inside).

My father used to rage for hours and I would have to stand there and let him rage at me, within a few inches from my face. Often times after he was done, he would feel intense feelings and cry about his childhood and I would have to lay on the bed with him and comfort him (non sexually) emotionally. I'm an empath so I naturally absorbed his feelings when he did this and felt extremely overwhelmed at the time.    I only recently put together the experience of that - having to comfort him - with similar feelings of "being trapped" when a friend complains (if they talk about how they intend to solve their problem / talk about it with a solution focus - I feel ok. It's only when someone wants to tell me something in a complaint with the response expected of "that sucks" or something like that. It can be a complaint about their job, relationship , anything. I can handle it at first and show up as "such a good friend." but I have noticed over time that people start just expecting me to make them feel better and I feel trapped, but in the beginning I was happy to share my insight with them. It's only when I share my insight and that person just keeps calling me to complain that I can't take it and go into a low level EF.

Let's not even talk about 'venting.' I physically cannot handle anyone "venting" to me.

Does anyone else have this trigger?

Thank you all! I hope everyone is well.

JJ