Messages

Thanks, Blue.  As are you!

Wow, I am doing so much processing of old trauma and am determined to not only understand how that has been an underlying motivation for my actions but also to learn better ways of self soothing so that I don't continue acting out of old pain.  It is a big challenge, but one whose time has come.  I am alternately exhausted and energized by the process.

Blueberry-

I am glad that you were offered help with the administrative task as well.  And good for you for asking for help to begin with.  I often find it extremely difficult to ask others to assist me with tasks as it feels like weakness to me at times.  It's important for us to get over ourselves, so to speak.  You've done that!

Plenty of room, S&B- settle on down and enjoy the warm fire and the quiet company.

Thank you for allowing me to share space with you here, Woodsgnome.  And may you find some places in your everyday world where it's ok to just "be", as well.

Woodsgnome-

I'm happy to sit and share your campfire, if it's ok.  We could look at the stars and marvel at the fact that we exist at all in this vast universe.  The strength we draw from being part of the natural world may give us some peace.

You didn't bring the abuse on yourself any more than I brought on the inappropriate behavior of my college professor.  And I blamed myself because I could have refused, but didn't because I was starved for male approval and had a fairly distant father.  Lots of shame over lots of years. 

Thanks for sharing about your abusers.  I hope you feel lighter.

 

Hey a massage sounds fabulous.  Perhaps I will go for one soon. 

Thanks for your kind words and for paying attention to my year.  I'm so tired....still must drop by school tomorrow to complete the checkout process....

That's good thinking, just focusing upon what today has to offer.  The weekend will be here soon enough, friend.

Keep being gentle with yourself.

Boats-

I'm so glad that f is accepting of your identity!  And not telling a 93 year old seems right to me.  Unless you have heard her espousing a positive or neutral viewpoint towards folks in our community, probably best to leave it be IMO. 

It's a different world than the one we were living in during the 1980's when I first came out.  So much more gay friendly, at least in some places. 

Deep Blue-

As you know, violence toward a child either makes them violent or fearful or both.  You are doing fine with your little boy.  I was raised by parents who hit me (well, my father did) and it did not make me respect him, only fear him.  Boundaries can be reinforced in ways that don't involve physical pain.  When someone hits a person, they have already lost the battle. 

Yes, soothe yourself tonight.  Take care of the young one inside.  And as was already mentioned, a huge thank you for turning in the teacher who was inappropriate.  I had that happen to me, too.  It's icky and life altering.

Yes, my therapist is awesome!  And when I frustrate her she allows herself a human response and then hits the  reset button and rallies once more.  She represents a true resting place in life's storms.  And she is at least 20 years younger than me.  Fascinating.

Thanks for being happy with me, 3 Roses and Deep Blue. 

Tomorrow is the last day my students attend school for this year.  I have still more cleaning to do as well as printing my grade book which contains both grade history for all students along with a record of their assignments,  And to think we used to just have a thin record book with hand written entries at the end of the year.  We didn't have computers in the classroom when I started teaching.  Role was taken on individual forms and collected each class period.  And, of course, no kids addicted to the apps on their phones. 

I'm feeling gluttonous and a bit lethargic, as my eating has been somewhat out of kilter of late. Kind of depressed, too. It's been a * of a year.  Not much of anything solid to hang onto.  But I will find a way to rebalance.  Soon.  Not tonight, though.  But soon.

 

Welcome back, Blue!

Once again, thanks so much for your volunteering as neighbors struggled.  You are a caring person who does not sit idly by when people are struggling.  This goes far beyond your work with students in the classroom. 

I am still completing my own classroom work - it's finals week, and graduation was last night.