Not Alone: 2021

[owl25]

I am glad you have your T who is there to listen, care, and believe. 6 - 10 year old is not alone. 

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Owl.

I'm having a "be myself" morning (and hopefully afternoon). No one is home. I'm still in my pajamas. I'm spending some time online, doing laundry, getting some cleaning done, drinking coffee. Interesting that even if H and S were home, if I was still in my PJs, I don't think either would say anything. I just don't feel the freedom to be myself when they are here, especially H.

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, I hope your alone time was/is restorative.  I feel the same - there is something different about being alone versus with others in how I feel. 

[sanmagic7]

i agree with rainy.  alone time is special.  love and hugs

[Armee]

I definitely relate to that feeling of getting to feel like yourself while alone, even if you'd be doing the same alone.

[sanmagic7]

thinking of you, notalone.  hope you're okay after your 'me' day.  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. Can't find the paper that I need for the appointment. Looked through 3 bags of garbage. Had to cancel. Now I can't get another appointment for another week. Plus I'll miss even more work because it's a later appointment. Feel beyond frustrated. Sliding down the tunnel. And it's late. And I have to get up and go to work tomorrow. And I can't. I can't.

[Armee]

 

However dark it feels now in your tunnel remember that the tunnel ends eventually and you get released back into the light. Perhaps it is ok to call in sick tomorrow? I'm not sure if you have sick leave. But it sounds like a day off would be good for you. Somedays people just can't and they need to just not.

But if you do need to go to work tomorrow I often find once I get started it feels ok to be there, so I'll wish the same for you.

You've been going through a lot lately. Be gentle with yourself if you are able to.

[Hope67]

Hi Not Alone,
I'm sorry that you've had that experience today, it sounds really stressful.    (if that's helpful to you at some point today) - I also feel like this emoticon  is relevant too for the frustration of not being able to find that paperwork.  I also wondered if the people whose appointment you were attending absolutely had to have paperwork - but I guess they do, otherwise you'd not have to search so hard to find it, and you'd not have to re-schedule the appointment.  Not a nice situation. 
Hope 

[Not Alone]

Thanks Armee & Hope. I have to leave for work soon, so won't be long in my response. I will carry your support with me. I'm not sliding down the tunnel anymore, just feeling down. Besides the distress of having to wait for a needed appointment, loosing things is highly triggering for me. 

[Armee]

I'm here. I wish I could comfort the triggered parts. Losing things is distressing to anyone and adding in triggers and a missed appointment on top of that...the tunnel must have felt dark indeed.

[Snowdrop]

 

[Not Alone]

Thanks Armee & Snowdrop.

I talked to someone at work about the situation (not the crazy feelings). She helped me with how to have the appointment today and work around the missing paperwork. Something that should have taken 10 minutes took over an hour, but the appointment is done. Long day.

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, I hope you find something that helps you feel nourished after your long day.

[Not Alone]

Thank you Rainy Diary. I've been sitting on my bed, on the computer for a couple of hours. Almost the entire time our kitten (now a cat, I guess, since she is one year old), has been on my lap. That is very nurturing and renewing. Good to connect a bit on OOTS too. It's a lot harder now that I'm working full time.