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I so want and need this space, this forum as a place to share and be heard and hear others. Unfortunately even though I consider myself pretty tech savvy, I get lost here every time I login. I can't find the responses to my posts or find others' posts that I want to read again and/or reply to. It causes me anxiety and frustration.
I wish I knew the answer. I don't want to stop but each time I am back feeling like I'm in the Groundhog Day movie.

I can feel myself spiraling and it sucks.
I feel very dumb that I can't seem to figure out how to navigate this Forum. I tried to find a reply from Kizzie telling me where to look for the directions, but I can only find my post and not her reply. I am trying but not at all succeeding in not letting  this stress me out completely.
I really want to start a Journal but i don't see where to add my New page so I can start.
Trying not to cry though that is easy because crying or showing vulnerability were not safe things to do in my FOA or in my former marriage.
I would so appreciate some help with navigating this.
Thank you

It's kind of terrifying for me to write in this forum, even though I truly appreciate that this is here for all of us. It's easier to hide. but I guess in some ways I know that's not the best way to live.

I moved to a small town almost 3 years ago. This pattern of being unwelcomed, as I was in my family of origin (still am in this "we-like-you, we -don't like you" yoyo land with sisters), continues here. It's pretty impossible for me not to take this personally.

It keeps me in a pattern of never being fully 'In" anywhere.I always have one foot out the door.
Today I feel lost and hopeless.
Thank you for letting me share this.

Hello. I am still kind of new to OOTS and can't seem to find the journaling thread. I would like to begin journaling if that's the best place/way to share on an ongoing basis. Sorry if this isn't in the right thread for this question. I'll look for a quote to add. 

Hello
I am so happy to have found OOTS. I choose the name Nasturtium because it's a flower that will keep growing even after you think you've pulled them all out. Sure enough the next spring they are sprouting up. I feel that's me as a survivor of FSA and someone living with CPTSD. I feel finally (I'm in my late 60's) that I am going to overcome a lifetime of feeling less than, depressed, occasional bad anxiety, and always not belonging anywhere.

I only recently, as in a month ago, found the work of Rebecca Mandeville and also Janina Fisher and both have been eye-opening, life changing discoveries. I have two older sisters who continue to scapegoat me but I am going no contact which is so helpful.

Happy to be here. Thanks to those who created this website and forum!