hey, radical. thank you. actually, i don't think a lawyer will be necessary. when i go, i'll take my belongings, leave my home behind. it's on his family's property, so i have no claim to it anyway. the family doesn't even have the correct papers for it and half of them live in the states. nothing could ever be settled. like i told my d, this will be the third home i've left, one for every marriage. that's sad to me. 3 homes, and nothing to show for them. my nc d lives in the second one, and my ex gave me an advance on what the home might be worth to build this one.
my d has been so very supportive. i started looking for apts. where she lives, she said she'll help. she has always really liked my hub, but she totally understands why i want to get out. i'll be very poor, but i'll have my own space, my own bed (he's horrible to sleep with and is often the reason i'm up so early every morning) and things will be clean. that will be wonderful! here there is always so much grit, it's impossible to keep up. no more roaches, big ol' bugs, or lizards that find their way under my pillow.
i don't know when to tell him. i know this seems sudden, but it's been coming for a while. he's never been able to stop barking at me when i ask him a question that he's not in the mood for, he's rarely followed thru on things he says he's gonna do, and he's never asked for help when he needed to. after his hip surgery, someone told him it would take a good year to heal. that was at least 10 yrs. ago. since then, we probably had sex 5 times, and then he lost his desire due to the fact that he was scared his his replacement would pop out. i begged him to talk to a doc about it, he refused. so, wife2, as far as living like roommates, i've been doing that for a long time already. nothing i tried worked, and i tried everything i could think of. living alone, in that area, will probably give me a better chance of getting laid, if i so desire.
divorce? i don't plan to remarry, so i'm not worried about it. status quo is fine. i only feel married now because i've chosen to. we've been more friends than anything else. i will say that he saved my life, and i'm forever grateful for that. but, on the other hand, this other stuff, especially this recent incident, has been way too stressful. it's the last thing i need. the stress will not end as long as he has that bank loan, because i know it's what's on his mind. he's been more than reticent this past month and now i know why. but when i'd ask him, he'd just say 'i've got a lot of stuff going on'.
i know that by taking myself away from him will be the worst thing i can do to him, and i'm sorry about that. he's not a bad guy. he just has a way to live his life that's incompatible with the way i want to live mine. looking back, i think i've been putting up with this way of life, just that. nearly 16 yrs. not enough has changed. lots of ideas, very little follow-through or reliability. i need to rely on things, i need to be able to believe that when someone says something, that's how it's going to be. maybe me and this culture are just too different after all. i could easily list all the good qualities i fell in love with, and he still has them. but the scales have finally tipped. without trust, how can there be a relationship of any merit? sucks.
my d has been so very supportive. i started looking for apts. where she lives, she said she'll help. she has always really liked my hub, but she totally understands why i want to get out. i'll be very poor, but i'll have my own space, my own bed (he's horrible to sleep with and is often the reason i'm up so early every morning) and things will be clean. that will be wonderful! here there is always so much grit, it's impossible to keep up. no more roaches, big ol' bugs, or lizards that find their way under my pillow.
i don't know when to tell him. i know this seems sudden, but it's been coming for a while. he's never been able to stop barking at me when i ask him a question that he's not in the mood for, he's rarely followed thru on things he says he's gonna do, and he's never asked for help when he needed to. after his hip surgery, someone told him it would take a good year to heal. that was at least 10 yrs. ago. since then, we probably had sex 5 times, and then he lost his desire due to the fact that he was scared his his replacement would pop out. i begged him to talk to a doc about it, he refused. so, wife2, as far as living like roommates, i've been doing that for a long time already. nothing i tried worked, and i tried everything i could think of. living alone, in that area, will probably give me a better chance of getting laid, if i so desire.
divorce? i don't plan to remarry, so i'm not worried about it. status quo is fine. i only feel married now because i've chosen to. we've been more friends than anything else. i will say that he saved my life, and i'm forever grateful for that. but, on the other hand, this other stuff, especially this recent incident, has been way too stressful. it's the last thing i need. the stress will not end as long as he has that bank loan, because i know it's what's on his mind. he's been more than reticent this past month and now i know why. but when i'd ask him, he'd just say 'i've got a lot of stuff going on'.
i know that by taking myself away from him will be the worst thing i can do to him, and i'm sorry about that. he's not a bad guy. he just has a way to live his life that's incompatible with the way i want to live mine. looking back, i think i've been putting up with this way of life, just that. nearly 16 yrs. not enough has changed. lots of ideas, very little follow-through or reliability. i need to rely on things, i need to be able to believe that when someone says something, that's how it's going to be. maybe me and this culture are just too different after all. i could easily list all the good qualities i fell in love with, and he still has them. but the scales have finally tipped. without trust, how can there be a relationship of any merit? sucks.