Not feeling connected -- alien -- started early with me. Undoubtedly this was in reaction to abuses from immediate family and awful 'teachhers' and pompous clergy sorts in religious schools.
That's the obvious downside, from my alien-like perspective. Yet it was in actuality a plus, allowin me to see through the layers of hypocritical, obscene torments of that whole experience. Although envious of those who were loved from the start, I've grown to appreciate my front-row seat in the den on iniquity, so to speak. How or why I found my inner heart was not comfortable with this, to say the least, there''s also an extreme part consisting of shame, anger, and grief that it had to be that way. But, to use an old cliche, I survived. Maybe feeling alien helped?
Then, as pointed out by Chart, there came the point of turning away from the old story. Or, the old life's movie, as some have referenced it. Now I have a mutiplex cinema -- the decrepit one shows the old horrows, but mostly I've learned to avoid that one. Instead, there's the new one, with the ongoing, 'now' films, with new scripts under revision as I write.
I know that can seem unrealistic, but as Chart also hinted, it speaks of the need -- somehow -- to break with the old perpetrators, in mind if not in actuality (though I happily did the latter).
I could go on, but this story we're talking of is yours, and you ARE in the lobby of your new theatre. May you begin to enjoy the new story more and more each day. We'll be applauding your new being
That's the obvious downside, from my alien-like perspective. Yet it was in actuality a plus, allowin me to see through the layers of hypocritical, obscene torments of that whole experience. Although envious of those who were loved from the start, I've grown to appreciate my front-row seat in the den on iniquity, so to speak. How or why I found my inner heart was not comfortable with this, to say the least, there''s also an extreme part consisting of shame, anger, and grief that it had to be that way. But, to use an old cliche, I survived. Maybe feeling alien helped?
Then, as pointed out by Chart, there came the point of turning away from the old story. Or, the old life's movie, as some have referenced it. Now I have a mutiplex cinema -- the decrepit one shows the old horrows, but mostly I've learned to avoid that one. Instead, there's the new one, with the ongoing, 'now' films, with new scripts under revision as I write.
I know that can seem unrealistic, but as Chart also hinted, it speaks of the need -- somehow -- to break with the old perpetrators, in mind if not in actuality (though I happily did the latter).
I could go on, but this story we're talking of is yours, and you ARE in the lobby of your new theatre. May you begin to enjoy the new story more and more each day. We'll be applauding your new being