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Messages - Not Alone

Recovery Journals / Re: Rainy Journey 23
September 02, 2023, 11:07:46 PM
It's been a long, difficult week.
Another weekend of working and working. Ugh.
Recovery Journals / Re: Forging New Paths
August 20, 2023, 02:18:16 AM
Welcome back home. Be kind to yourself. This is a big change and transition.
Recovery Journals / Re: Rainy Journey 23
August 08, 2023, 01:49:28 AM
I relate a great deal to many of your thoughts and feelings regarding your marriage. It's really hard.
Your support means a lot to me.

Today was an okay day.
Thank you, Rainy, Armee, San, & Natureluvr.

I really don't know how I'm going to make it. It is too much. I can't do this. I have children (adults) so I must keep going, but I don't know how.
Thank you, Armee, Rainy, and San.

The work presentations went okay. My timing was good and I didn't say anything stupid.

It is another weekend of working all weekend. On top of that I have a cold. I am at the end of my rope.

Really bad day. Started with a completely flat tire. Ended up buying four tires. Bad day at work. I can't do this. I can't do this.
I am reading your replies and receive encouragement and comfort. Thank you.

I managed to contact someone at Canon. T hey are sending a replacement printer.

On Thursday at work I have to make a presentation three times. I'm dreading that.
Recovery Journals / Re: FINDING MY FEELINGS
July 29, 2023, 10:53:09 PM
Moondance, my heart sank when I read your post. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with those things.
Recovery Journals / Re: Rainy Journey 23
July 29, 2023, 10:49:57 PM
Quote from: rainydiary on July 26, 2023, 11:13:11 PMBut given that he talks and then later changes what he says, I just can't take it seriously.

I really relate to this. In my case, I think my H would say either what he thought he should say or he said what he thought would get him out of trouble. He also would not say anything, thinking that was the safest route. His main goal was to stay regulated, which meant trying to keep me from being upset ("content," in his words). Trust yourself. Listen. Observe.

I remembered that I was very triggered by my dogs vet, quite some time ago. It kept me from taking the dog in for awhile. Over time and further interactions with vet, I was no longer triggered, but I remember it being really difficult.
Thank you for your support.

Last week I worked 10-12 hour days on three of the days. This weekend I will be working all weekend from home. I've already worked over six hours and have a long way to go. I know it won't be like this forever, but I'm really sinking.

I did get encouragement and help from my supervisor on Friday.

My two-month old printer isn't working. I can't find the code I need for the warranty. Being online just keeps sending me in circles. Issues with this tech stuff is triggering to me. For those who might remember, similar feelings to when I had phone issues.

I'm so tired and stressed that the smallest thing feels like an anchor around me, keeping my head under water. I needed something for work. Couldn't find it and assume that ex-H took it.

Over time, the job will not be so taxing, but for now I am emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted.
Recovery Journals / Re: Rainy Journey 23
July 26, 2023, 12:17:57 AM
Quote from: rainydiary on July 25, 2023, 09:52:08 PMThe vet made some comment about how my cat was grumpy and uncooperative.  That triggered me.  She was hungry, scared, and didn't understand what was happening.  She has also been to the vet a lot lately.  I think this person said this because it is making it hard for them to tell what is a symptom and what is behavior. 

Kind of crazy for the vet to expect any cat to be cooperative.
Thanks, Armee and San. I really needed to hear that.

Today was a 12 hour day. I'm exhausted. Just trying to keep my head above water.
Recovery Journals / Re: no returns
July 23, 2023, 11:29:56 PM
San, I'm sad that things have been so hard and painful and overwhelming. "Too much" for sure.