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Messages - meadow

#1
Hi all,

This is my first post as a new member. I was diagnosed with CPTSD a couple of years ago and my father has just recently been diagnosed with Aspergers at age 55. I've noticed a lot of posts about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is interesting because NPD appears to have several overlapping traits with Aspergers, with the exception of social charisma. Some shared traits include:

1. Self-centeredness; inappropriate to developmental level and cultural expectations

2. Poor self-awareness, poor ability to develop remorse or learn from mistakes

3. Poor empathy or appreciation of others feelings

4. Poor ability to reciprocate emotions.

5. Treating people as objects or preferring objects over them

Anyway, I've lived my whole life thinking of my father as verbally and emotionally abusive but now I'm starting to understand that his behaviors weren't intentional, just unchecked.

Now, I'm trying to learn to build a new relationship with him based on this understanding but I'm scared. For over 20 years I've had to bend to his will and had little of my own emotional needs met. I'm struggling with striking a balance between empathizing and holding him accountable for the deep-seated emotional damage he unwittingly and continually provokes.

A word of encouragement to those who've had to face family members with NPD: if the shared traits between Aspergers and NPD have a tendency to result in CPTSD in loved ones, the common denominator is being in close proximity to these specific traits, not you.