New here.

[Jeremiah Bullfrog]

Seeing a lot of myself here.  I have been lurking here for a long time.  Wanted to introduce myself.  I was the scapegoat in my family and married into my husband's family and became a scapegoat for them.  Now, I am realizing that my husband has some narcissistic traits and am not sure if I want to continue the marriage.

[Three Roses]

  thanks for joining!

[Kizzie]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS Jeremiah     Hadn't thought of that song in ages but am already singing it in my head lol 

I read for a long time at our sister site OOTF, just took it all in before I could put fingers to keyboard and post about myself.  I felt really vulnerable for a while I must admit but then I got caught up in posting and went from there to this site. Three years later posts flow and that is saying something as it used to take me forever to write one and then hit "Post." 

Anyway, I hope you find that it helps to talk here too.   

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi Jeremiah
Glad you are here ..
Yes I've been in this place when start to see more clearly a partners traits and my own repetitive behaviours repeating esp around the type I have chosen ..
For me that has been a real good 1st step in recovery of seeing more clearly
The repeated damaging / not getting my needs met pattern and as painful as it is to start seeing daylight I can start to explore it and begin to gain some power ...
Right now I am single and whilst I'd rather be in relationship I know this time for my own growth and to be in a healthier place to make healthier choices is so important ..
I have given my power away too easily in the past and now I am beginning to have a better connected relationship with myself, one of compassion ( a work in progress )..
I wish u all the kindest wishes for you on this stage of your recovery

[Candid]

Whew, that's a lot to deal with. Hold on, and I hope you'll find some clarity here. BTW, it's very normal to choose bad partners when you've had bad parents.

I'm another older one, and wish I'd had access to this forum decades ago.

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me...

[Wife#2]

JB - love the screen name you've chosen, by the way. Welcome. Officially, now. I understand shadowing until you felt ready for posting. I think you'll be glad to join in the conversation. The welcome, wisdom and even just the validation that you are worthy of having life, feelings, love, joy - AND YOU ARE - is worth the nervousness of trying to put into words what brought you here.

Take your time. This is your life and your story to tell. We will welcome you in any way you feel ready. This was a first big step!

Welcome, Jeremiah Bullfrog. We are glad you decided to post.

[sanmagic7]

hey, jb,

great song, one of my favorites.  welcome, so glad you decided to join us. 

i'm also on the verge of leaving my husband (for different reasons) and have found so much kindness and support here as i've wrestled with this decision.  i'm nearly 70, so it's not one i've taken lightly.

i hope you find the support you need, too.  i've never been involved with  a better group of people  whom i've never met.  keep taking care of you as best you can.  we're with you.

[ATHAK]

New here too. I'm ATHAK. Would like to discuss this life w you. Sounds like we have similarity in our cptsd. Not having much luck with this site. Wish someone would"buddy" me or something...to share experience good and bad. I'm in a place where I feel like I MUST deal with my symptoms and get a life back.

[Hazy111]

Hii Jeremiah B,

Are you (and SanMagic7)  aware theres another site called Out of the Fog that helps people with PD Narcs, BPD etc family members. Theres even a divorce/separation section  with many people asking for advice, sharing stuff etc. It may help.

Im surprised theres not more cross over between the sites as the subjects  are invaribly interlinked. Personality disorder and  C-PTSD.

[Candid]

Not having much luck with this site. Wish someone would"buddy" me or something...

We'll all be your buddies here, Athak, although you'll probably get most responses from members who can identify with your situation. I'll look out for you.

[sanmagic7]

hey, athak, welcome.  very glad you're here.  i've found wonderful support here from many people, even when i was new.  i hope you find that as well.  there are lots of similarities, lots of diversity at the same time.  i've learned a lot from everywhere.

hazy, i started at ootf, then moved here.  my hub doesn't have a personality disorder, there are other reasons that i'm probably on my way out, but thanks for the suggestion.  i appreciate it a lot.

[Jeremiah Bullfrog]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the warm welcomes!