How do people react when you tell them you have PTSD?

[Jenny Blount]

I had an interesting reaction from my sulky 26 year old stepdaughter. My good friends have been supportive, undramatic, interested, pragmatic and have faith in me that I am doing my best and will progress. My sulky stepdaughter listened to a conversation (with friends) where I gently mentioned I'd been receiving treatment for PTSD and completely ignored it.
Now I would have thought it was a fairly major family announcement. But no, she was in a mood with me about her dismal boyfriend and decided to pay me back by sitting staring ahead, arms folded and bottom lip jutting out.
I don't expect flowers but some sense of concern would have been nice. I was extremely hurt. She should know better. Even if she is annoyed with me she should get over herself.
Was that invalidation I just experienced? 😉

[Three Roses]

If she was listening to a conversation you were having with other people, she may not have felt it was appropriate to join in. She sounds like she was having a bad day. She may not have heard, if she was preoccupied with the situation with her bf.

Here's some info on invalidation -

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=4156.0

I really don't tell too many people. The worst I've heard is the "let it go, it's in the past" cliché. I chose carefully which friends I tell.

[Danaus plexippus]

26, are you sure she's 26? sounds more like an "Emo" teenager to me. I would not suggest you try teaching her common decency except by example. She has already demonstrated her ignorance.  Maybe you'll luck out and she'll move in with Mr. Dismal and they can live out their Emo fantasies far, far away from you. I am sorry for your distress and I hope things become more pleasant. All we know about your SD is what you have shared with us. Perhaps she is not beyond all hope.  Find out if she's interested in family therapy.   

[Jenny Blount]

We've actually always had a good relationship up until she started seeing Mr Dismal. Due to my experience in therapy I saw things in Mr Dismal which she's overlooked/doesn't care about/is deluding herself over. I, along with the rest of her friends and family, raised this with her (rather clumsily) and her reaction neared hysteria.
I know things are wrong with him because I recognise them. I actually don't care that things are wrong with him. It's her pure avoidance of us and the subject that is worrying. On the rare occasion they visit there is a huge great noisy elephant in the room. I'd happily talk about the elephant and offer it tea and biscuits, but she is too invested in him and (I suspect) his money and her prospects.

It's great to get this off my chest....been carrying it around for ages.

Anyway....that puts her reaction in context. She may have been having a bad day, and yes, family therapy is long overdue......but, as my husband and I agree.....once she acknowledges there's a problem then we can go forward. Otherwise she just avoids us and any discussion!

[Danaus plexippus]

Sounds like he may be deliberately trying to isolate her from her support system of friends and family. If she is reacting out of proportion to well meaning comments regarding her relationship with Mr. Dismal, he may be dominating her. I hope harmony is restored sooner rather than later.

[Jenny Blount]

We thought that too...
But in the meantime I have to learn not to hate him for the same reasons I've hated myself in the past.
Thanks for your comments!

[Jenny Blount]

Back to the topic...
The worst I've had, from an armchair psychologist was....'beware false memory syndrome!'
Which, I suppose, is a variation on, 'you're fibbing!'

[Wanishin]

On the question of how people react to knowing or me telling them I have PTSD:

a) Some people associated with it, such as "Oh, I have that too."
b) Had a medical doctor tell me that it was all in my head (while I was in service, having major anxiety and depression issues over several months).
c) Some people don't know what to say or say "Sorry."

It varies a lot.

I do understand when dealing with close ones and how it can hurt when it fall shorts to understanding what PTSD is. My partner often used the "a" excuse and often minimized my experiences and symptoms. My parents, when they learned I tried to take my own life said to "how could you do that to us?".

I am not sure if this helps or not; but, I guess all I am saying is it varies a lot. My closest support network, my closest friends (who unfortunately are many, many miles away from me) are extremely supportive, and of course my psychologist and case manager are superb.

On a note about your daughter; only thing I can relate is that having PTSD means we are often-to-always in Fight or Flight mode, always ready to react. I have been contemplating, for myself (not trying to minimize what others experience) if sometimes I went into Fight mode when I really didn't need to (such as, simply acknowledging the feeling what I perceived and then let it drop, in a Zen-kind-of-way). Of course, there seems to be history here; and I empathize with what you are feeling and going through.

[Danaus plexippus]

When I confided to friends that I'd been diagnosed with PTSD, they said "Dua! We've known it for years."

[Jenny Blount]

Hi Wanishin,
Thanks for your help. I didn't consider that I might be in one of the Flight, fight, faun or freeze modes. I was probably in faun....as I was aware she was annoyed by me and (unconsciously) I might have wanted to go for sympathy...ie, if you feel sorry for me then you won't dislike me. That would account for why I felt so hurt when she didn't play. We're a military family, so she at least has some familiarity with the concept, even if my one is domestic and not operational!
I've been selective in those I've told and, apart from this, felt very supported.
Are the armed forces are a bit more enlightened, these days? I hope so. I think the young kids get training in how to spot the signs.

[Jenny Blount]

Danaus....very funny! Thank you!

"But you always seem so STRONG!'

Yeah, that's kinda the problem!