Your story sounds very familiar to me. My F was/is an addict. My therapist would say he has NPD and my BPD, by virtue of MY textbook symptoms. Growing up, Dad was dangerous, so I latched on to M. I was her mini me. We were enmeshed. There was a fair amount of emotional incest going on. Dad was physically abusive. M more mentally/emotionally in dealing with her own trauma of being married to an abuser for 20 years.
It wasn't until adulthood, that I could see M's dysfunctional behavior. Over the course of a few years, we went from best friends, to walking on eggshells around each other. From where I sit, it is hard for her to see me as the middle aged woman I am. There is a fair amount of jealousy and manipulation. I'm learning that I need boundaries with her - never had those growing up with her. It is tough. Hang in there.
It wasn't until adulthood, that I could see M's dysfunctional behavior. Over the course of a few years, we went from best friends, to walking on eggshells around each other. From where I sit, it is hard for her to see me as the middle aged woman I am. There is a fair amount of jealousy and manipulation. I'm learning that I need boundaries with her - never had those growing up with her. It is tough. Hang in there.