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I have these sometimes. I think they're flashbacks of dissociation, they come back like intrusions sometimes during moments when I'm irritated/upset.

I'm wondering if you could speak to your GP/CPN/psychiatrist to explain what went wrong? Sounds like there wasn't much of a connection with the therapist to begin with, maybe it would be helpful to explain that?

I suppose I need to feel "comfortable" with a therapist. I don't know how I'm going to do this...

Thank you, both.

Oh, woodsgnome... I understand this, with the eyes.

I'm glad you liked that last line. It's something I've been trying to say to myself forever. I'm happy I found the words. It's good when we can allow ourselves tenderness.

Deleted.

I liked this. I'm glad you managed to see a kinda funny side to it all (although I hope the executor is on the mend?!). Seems helpful after an exhausting series of events.

I find it problematic to explain the depths of what I'm going through. Usually takes too long + Don't see it fitting into a room inhabited with good company... Not quite as skilled at being funny about it either. Sometimes I'll end up going over things and be left with a "what were the odds?!" but with a "superstitious" filter over possible future events.

Your process seems very positive. I'll try and write mine, haha.

Slim,

it takes a real level of bravery to confront this. You didn't deserve to be hurt: this is a shockingly awful experience. Try and be gentle with yourself about it now - you deserve comfort, rest and peace.

I hope when you're ready, you look back on this and see how strong you were for speaking about it. What a significant step saying it loud can be. I hope you can be proud of that.

Thanks for the warm welcome back, I appreciate it. You've both said something very useful and I agree 

Sorry for being emotional, frustrated and quiet etc. I'll get there 

Does anyone here have anything similar?

Haven't had time to read this whole article, but might answer some of the things coming up in this thread:

http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/genderwomen/en/

Hi Candid,

thank you for this post.

I've said inappropriate things to good people, turning them off me, and my first instinct when someone's mean to me is to be 'nicer' to them. Ugh.

Just wanted to let you know I do that too. I deflect it when people try to help me, not used to that kind of nurture. It's part of the instinctive response to trauma. Anyone who taught you to feel shame for responding that way, just doesn't know. Try not to listen.

sorry - deleted

Thanks for sharing, I've added this one to my Amazon basket. Boundaries were encroached before I knew what they were... this looks nourishing.

Hi complicated man,

I'm glad you have found this forum.