Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

i am so sorry i have been so negative.     i finally feel numb today.   my wife will not stop drinking,  so i joined her.     she is sleeping now..     i just want to keep drinking.   i really like feeling numb.   i don't want to feel things anymore

[Armee]

You don't need to be sorry for feeling bad. That's the trauma. We don't blame you for that and we have those days too. I'm scared for you and your wife though. It sounds pretty dangerous. I wish I could help you both feel better and get help. I can't but I'm here for you, Not judging, just worried.

[sanmagic7]

   also here for you.  love and hugs to you and your wife

[Larry]

I am looking for a therapist.  it isn't easy.   i live in a small island chain ,  not many options.   i did find a few,  and i sent some emails.    i really don't know what else to do.   i started reading a few books,  i really should try harder.   i feel like if i don't do something,  i will run out of time.   

[rainydiary]

Hi Larry, I am here checking in and appreciating all the work you are doing.

[Larry]

thank you rainy 

[Armee]

I couldn't say it better than Rainy. Keep trying when you are able. That's all any of us can do. That means on good days maybe needing to remind yourself there are bad days and using your good day energy to keep looking for help. Fingers crossed for a therapist that is a good fit for you and your schedule. 

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

I'm sorry you feel that sense of urgency. There are therapists that do telehealth vis Zoom which can be used via an app on a smartphone if you have one. That way you don't have to be at home during the session. I believe AA does something similar with online Zoom meetings.

Hope you find some space to deal with the stuff coming up.

dolly

[sanmagic7]

i agree w/ the others, larry.  best of luck finding a therapist.  love and hugs

[Larry]

 ,  thank you

[Hope67]

Hi Larry,
Just wanted to send you some sunshine today - if that's ok 

I hope you find a therapist who is helpful. 

Sending you a hug too, if that's ok 

Hope 

[Larry]

i have been doing ok,   i went to the gym today,  that always helps.   preparing for a hurricane right now,   looks like we are only getting 60 mph winds.   probably lots of rain the next few days.    i am trying to stay busy,   i only had 2 drinks today.   i feel a little empty,  but mostly good.   

[sanmagic7]

 

[Larry]

when i need support,   i always come here.   i love all of you.  thank you so much.   
today has been good.  i did have a few drinks,   i am home,  but really want a few more.    my wife has not been drinking.   so nothing to drink in the house.    we did ok with hurricane ian.   ft myers got it bad.   sometimes i feel like i don't deserve the good things that happen.   

[Armee]

You deserve even more good things, Larry. I'm glad to hear your wife is doing better at least with alcohol. You sounded really worried about her. I am so glad it is a little more stable now.