On other thread, we had a really good discussion on sex, and it was deeply enlightening on a personal level.
Well, I had sex all this weekend with a really nice guy. It was a totally positive and seemingly healthy experience. I really needed to get laid, and so did he.
Well, he left to go back home this weekend and I was ready to have some quiet time. A few minutes later, I started getting really depressed. I was watching my inner state very closely. I suddenly remembered that after I had fun casual sex about 8 years ago in the past, I felt the same way.
This is not abandonment feelings. This is not a moralistic self loathing or regret. No shame. It was a totally wonderful time. This is some sort of triggering of some script in my head that made me incredibly depressed inside of a few minutes.
The thoughts that have been going through my head are unrelated sadness events about how problematic my attachment mechanisms are. But this depressive thing, which is the worst than I have had in months and came on like a tsunami, is mostly a mystery.
Again, I deeply appreciate Ya'll and would welcome thoughts oh this. It is perplexing.
Well, I had sex all this weekend with a really nice guy. It was a totally positive and seemingly healthy experience. I really needed to get laid, and so did he.
Well, he left to go back home this weekend and I was ready to have some quiet time. A few minutes later, I started getting really depressed. I was watching my inner state very closely. I suddenly remembered that after I had fun casual sex about 8 years ago in the past, I felt the same way.
This is not abandonment feelings. This is not a moralistic self loathing or regret. No shame. It was a totally wonderful time. This is some sort of triggering of some script in my head that made me incredibly depressed inside of a few minutes.
The thoughts that have been going through my head are unrelated sadness events about how problematic my attachment mechanisms are. But this depressive thing, which is the worst than I have had in months and came on like a tsunami, is mostly a mystery.
Again, I deeply appreciate Ya'll and would welcome thoughts oh this. It is perplexing.