Messages

Tks James!

Wow, you have a LOT of patience! They are beautiful Dina, thanks for sharing them.  I would have to say you are definitely an artists 

HI and a warm welcome to OOTS Invisiblewoman.  I used to feel invisible, partly because of my family and partly because I wanted it that way so nothing more happened to me. 

Many of us have been misdiagnosed and that's because CPTSD is relatively new and not fully out there in medical and mental health circles. If you felt a bit relieved when you read about CPTSD it's likely because this is the diagnosis that does fit you.

In any event, as you read posts around the forum if it makes sense to you then you're in the right place. 

 

We're always interested to hear how you came up with your name for the forum so let us know!

OK, we've reached page 6 and we normally start a new thread when we hit page 5 so a bit late with this.  I've locked the thread and we'll start in Part 3.

I had quite the laugh when I saw your forum name! 

So sorry to hear this Phoebes. 

You know Healing Finally that is a huge step so congrats! It's appalling that your S has managed to turn the fam against you but that us what some of them do. It's such a betrayal that your M would ask you if your son could go. How on earth did she think that would make you feel? What a betrayal. I hope writing the email helped you bring that to the surface and let yourself feel the power of saying the **** with that, no more.

  hug if that's OK.

I definitely felt scared of my parent when I was younger Mathilde, it's common for survivors whose parents are the abusers. They loom very large in our lives and it's generally not until we are  in adulthood that we learn that they are not as scary as we once thought they were.  It doesn't happen overnight mind you, it takes time to loosen the grips of guilt, shame and obedience we learned.

One thing we talk about a lot here is nothing is/was your fault, it's just something abusers want us to feel because it makes us powerless and them powerful. Recovery means stepping away from those beliefs and toward putting the responsibility back where it belongs, on them.

I am not religious but I think the God I would want in my life would truly NOT want me to feel guilty about every little thing, but instead to live a good, healthy and joy filled life. 

Just my thoughts but I hope they help.

   Hug if that's OK.     

I'm not sure why that's happening Saluki as they're fine when I click on them    Anyway, if you click on "Announcements" you'll see a thread about the UK project.  Just in case you have trouble finding it here's what the post talks about:

A PhD student, Dawn Davis from Glasgow Caledonian University is looking for volunteers to participate in a study about Complex Trauma survivors' experiences with healthcare. "The aim of the study is to explore what those who identify with having Complex PTSD want health professionals to know about their experience."

As you know this is an important topic we talk quite a bit about here at OOTS because CPTSD is still not well known in healthcare yet. The more information we have about what is missing from and what is working in healthcare, the better off we will all be.

Dawn is hoping to get enough volunteers for 2 Zoom groups of 4 or 5 people. The dates/times planned for the groups are the 12th of June @ 10:30am PST/1:30pm EST and the 13th of June @ 10:30am PST/1:30pm EST so you'll need to get in touch with her ASAP. Her email is ddavis301@caledonian.ac.uk.

Tks for participating in it, I know the researcher Dawn Davis will be happy to have you volunteer!

Kizzie

Just my thoughts here but you can only do so much for your mother if she will not help herself. You can talk honestly with her about how you feel but it's up to her whether she hears you and/or decides to act on her own behalf. 

Many of us have had to make the truly difficult decision to put ourselves first, because not do so meant we would suffer greatly perhaps even perish.

I hope you can make some peace with your decision.

NK - OMG, is M-I-L problematic too?    When do you get back from all the sea and road tripping?

Armee - I was thinking maybe I would see if she would be interested in doing her Zoom group on a Friday when Grp #1 meets.  Would you be available on a Fri at 9 MST?

That's great BB! 

Glad to hear you'll finally be getting your holiday NK 

Thanks Lakelynn, we appreciate it!

Good point Armee.  This isn't about false or toxic positivity which so many promote and we know does NOT work.  It's about dealing with the reality of CPTSD in hopeful and healing ways. For example, looking back and seeing how far you've come, or coming to a place where you know recovery is about managing your symptoms, not getting rid of them altogether. It can be about learning ways of managing narcissists with tools like grayrock and JADE, or stepping away from them (or  other abusers) entirely because you have to do so to have a healthier life. It can be laying charges against an abuser and going to court. It can be about stepping out of isolation and coming here out of isolation to share your experiences and belong to a community finally. Or it can be about committing to work with a therapist to help recognize triggers, reduce symptoms and lay the responsibility at the feet of those it belongs to.

All these things are about hope and healing.