An attempt at gratitude.
I'm not always so great at regular gratitude practices. I find myself rebelling after a short time. "Oh, yeah?! If everything's so wonderful, then what about this, this, and this!" I know the point isn't that everything is sunshine and roses all of the time. It's about noticing what is going well so that the good becomes a more prominent focus in your life.
I get it. And still it's hard for me. I fear I don't deserve the good. And I'm afraid of letting my guard down on some deep internal level instead of constantly monitoring my environment for the next bad thing.
Like I said, embracing gratitude is challenging for me. But I'm going to do it anyway. Here's what I'm grateful for right now:
* The warm mug of tea in my hand
* That I have the morning off
* The yummy leftovers waiting for me in the fridge
* That work has been plentiful
* That today is supposed to be a beautiful pre-spring day
* That my partner was really responsive to the concerns I raised last night
* That I got halfway decent sleep
* That I've been able to maintain a more intense exercise routing for 3 months now
I'm reading this as I write, and I almost feel like someone's punched me in the gut. I don't like it that good stuff can be scary. Part of me doesn't trust it. But I'm working on it bit by bit.
What are you grateful for right now?
I'm not always so great at regular gratitude practices. I find myself rebelling after a short time. "Oh, yeah?! If everything's so wonderful, then what about this, this, and this!" I know the point isn't that everything is sunshine and roses all of the time. It's about noticing what is going well so that the good becomes a more prominent focus in your life.
I get it. And still it's hard for me. I fear I don't deserve the good. And I'm afraid of letting my guard down on some deep internal level instead of constantly monitoring my environment for the next bad thing.
Like I said, embracing gratitude is challenging for me. But I'm going to do it anyway. Here's what I'm grateful for right now:
* The warm mug of tea in my hand
* That I have the morning off
* The yummy leftovers waiting for me in the fridge
* That work has been plentiful
* That today is supposed to be a beautiful pre-spring day
* That my partner was really responsive to the concerns I raised last night
* That I got halfway decent sleep
* That I've been able to maintain a more intense exercise routing for 3 months now
I'm reading this as I write, and I almost feel like someone's punched me in the gut. I don't like it that good stuff can be scary. Part of me doesn't trust it. But I'm working on it bit by bit.
What are you grateful for right now?