Nightmares decreased -- does this mean progress

[storyworld]

Hello, all,

I've noticed I have only had one nightmare in the past month. I even had a dream that had elements in it of a recurring nightmare, but this one played out much differently, in a good way. Does this mean my subconscious has resolved this particular issue? On another note, I slept 11 hours last night and cannot remember when I last felt so rested! I almost didn't have my morning cup of coffee!

I'd love to read accounts of those who have either stopped having nightmares or have found, with processing their past, have experienced greatly decreased nightmares.

[Armee]

Hi! Celebrating with you!

I've definitely had my triggers decrease and that seems to be a permanent improvement even though triggers do still happen sometimes. Nightmares I am waiting to see how that goes as I tend to have nightmares and intrusive images oct-feb. Fingers crossed for both of us for relief!

[storyworld]

I love that your triggers have decreased! I'm starting to become more aware of mine, so that's helpful. I'm hoping you have a dramatically more peaceful October through February!

[Armee]

Thank you. 

[Nasturtium]

Nightmares- I have had them my whole life. I remember childhood nightmares even. Extremely vivid dreams and so disturbing!Every night. So much so that in the middle of the day I would be overcome by intense unsettling emotions that I would realize were what I felt in my dream/nightmare.

Storyworld, Here's where things began to change for me. Last spring I listened to an episode of Hidden Brain. The topic was sleep and nightmares. In it Shankar Vedantam, the moderator, talked about how when we wake up we feel restored. I said yeah right I Never feel restored when I wake up. Instead I feel re-traumatized every night and wake up with those trauma feelings. He explained that people who have experienced trauma don't have the same chemical make up so that when they sleep they don't get the restorative outcome of sleep.A couple of years ago, a very good friend of mine had told me that she thought I had PTSD. I remember thinking oh I can't have that because I wasn't in a war or  a bad accident. But still this Hidden Brain episode had a big impact on me. I sent her the link and asked her to listen. Around the same time I learned about Elizabeth "Grandma" Leyton who healed herself of mental illness though a process of drawing herself by looking in a mirror and painting her portrait, not looking at the paper. I did this in an expressive arts class and it was so intense and allowed me to see how much pain I live with. These two experiences happened close together. For the first time in my life, after talking about my nightmares to therapists, acupuncturists, various "healers", etc I was finally able to describe the "what is the theme?". It was this: Nothing makes sense. Which may sound benign but was anything but benign in the dreams which were sometimes re-occuring dreams of dilapidated houses or just bizarre things that made no sense but were quite disturbing. Then I "got it"- my childhood, and even into adulthood with sisters who continue to scapegoat, had many many instances of things that didn't make sense, and therefore there wasn't safety.  No one ever talked about it. I just had to cope so I'm sure I disassociated, froze, etc. Smoked a lot of weed in high school. Like the person in the podcast, I gave myself a mantra: "I am safe. I have created a life for myself that makes sense." The next morning I woke up feeling a sense of restoration that I don't think I'd ever felt before. Unfortunately,  the bad dreams and intense ones still would come back if I didn't do the mantra every night.

But once I started the affirmations last week from Rebecca Mandeville's Beyond Family Scapegoat Abuse, something has changed. Three nights ago I had my very first positive dream!! NOT a nightmare. My dreams are very vivid. In it I was with a man but in a friendship role, at his home. (trigger! but it was fine) The next morning his family came over and criticized me (trigger!) for moving some of the pictures he had on his wall and I stood up for myself. Later we went to a big outdoor event with lots of people (trigger!) and he kept telling me "It's ok. We've got this." I can't tell you how incredibly happy and peaceful I felt when I woke up. So there is hope!!

[DD]

I have noticed that my nightmares have decreased significantly as I have processed trauma stuff.
Sorry, having a bad evening. But yes. To be brief.

[Saluki]

Hey again Storyworld,
It's so good to hear you've only had one nightmare in the past month. That's so reassuring to hear. And feeling rested after sleep sounds miraculous (it would be for me, so that's also very reassuring). It's good to hear others' positive experiences because it gives me hope. I don't remember the last time I woke up actually feeling rested.

Hey, Nasturtium,

Thank you for posting about hidden brain. That sounds about right about trauma giving us a different chemical makeup so we don't get the restorative value of sleep. That's been distressing me since I can remember... I've always had terrible chronic insomnia and nightmares from a very young age- I remember many of my childhood nightmares too. That podcast sounds amazing. I've actually tried to draw myself without looking at the paper and I didn't know it was therapeutic...it was just to see the results (horrible!). I did notice that I hate myself when I look in the mirror when I'm at my worst, I barely recognise myself. But when I had a reprieve from CPTSD a few years ago (I was okay for a while, felt really healed) I actually felt self acceptance in the mirror. I don't hate myself in reality, not logically, but I think I have a lot to work on there. Thank you: you've given me a lot to think about.