Hello new person here

[Madison2021]

Hello I am new to the site. So hello to everyone.
A little about me:  I grew up in a very strict cult like religion.  I was sexual abused by my uncle(my aunts husband) from about 6 years old until 14. I had told my grandmother numerous times what was happening.   She did tell my mom as well.  They told me it would be over soon and to just deal with it because it would upset my aunt.  My parents religion does not report things to the police.  My parents never helped me out with the situation and in some ways blamed me for it.  Anyways at 23 years old I decided to charge him as I knew he was molesting his daugthers. In the proccess I lost my family.  They disowned me for doing so. 
I have seen a counselor a few times years ago but felt they werent a right fit. Maybe I was just to scared.  I was diagnosed with PTSD.  I feel that complex.ptsd fits me a lot better.
I am currently in a relationship but it is really a mess.
I don't not have the money to afford good therapy. So I'm looking for some kind of support.
Thank you for hearing me out

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi Madison
Good to have you here and getting some support and ideas for your further recovery -

I too when I found cptsd felt a relief at a collection of symptoms that fitted to my internal experience
Many talk of Peter walkers book here called 'surviving to thriving' I am finding it so helpful

Yes making a stand in the family is not easy and getting outed was my experience too - a family response of 'how could u show us what we are '

The walk on ahead has been tough but I wouldn't trade a day of it once I kept walking

Recovery is all there for us and I believe as I've stayed open to it and kept believing I would get the right help it happened - sometimes slowly but it came for me just recently aged 42 yrs -

Are u in America ?

Being in a relationship as an offshoot of child trauma is no easy thing and I understand what that is like - my experience is as I got healthier I could easily then get out

I wish u all success on this new path in your recovery -
Take care of you 🌸🌿✨

[woodsgnome]

Madison2021,

Your story touched me, as it resembles mine in having had abusers who did their deeds under the guise of religion. Mine were crafty, too, in that they were not what would be called a 'cult' per se, but a branch of an established and well-thought-of 'mainstream' denomination. But they're all cults, in my opinion, all about mind control and worse, personal abuse of those at their disposal.

But I'm here, a survivor like you. In my eagerness to unlearn, I've discovered few approaches that ever fully salve my wounded kid part, but the freedom now frames my recovery.

Like you, I've no counselor/therapist at the moment--I live too far away and can't afford 'em anymore. Some were okay, but I only found one I can fully trust--the inner me. It was sometimes helpful to have an 'other' in the form of a therapist to bounce things off, but in the end I realized they were like going to school; there's no education there, just schooling. The education is what you do on your own, based on your heart's curriculum.

I hope you find some peace. It's so worth it.

[Madison2021]

Thank you very much for your replies.  Good luck to all in their recovery.