For sure, dissociation is, was, and might still affect me. While highly irritating and even a tad angry in its aftermatch, I started to turn around on that attitude once when, apologizing to my T for "xonking" out, she reassured me that this happens frequently with trauma survivors, and the the best part of my dissociation that day was simply that I noticed. That reassurance was highly supportive, as I was in the habit of piling fault on fault with regard to what I consider my inadequacies in handling all the nastiness that involuntarily invades whatever I'm doing.
But triggers and flashbacks being what they are, it happened again and still can haunt me. But I go back to what she told me -- "this is alright, you're okay; more than okay."
I've noticed this can happen so many times -- even while reading, when I get to the hard stuff (or material reminiscent of same, sometimes far-fetched, I can find myself in the "zone". The worst, of course, is when it interferes with people interactions. There it's harder to explain, but I've noticed I can sense when it might happen and somewhat when it does.
I wish you well, but first things first -- it's normal, you're ok, and you have noticed its presence, and perhaps understood it isn't the end of the world, that many of us experience the same jolt to our equilibrium.
But triggers and flashbacks being what they are, it happened again and still can haunt me. But I go back to what she told me -- "this is alright, you're okay; more than okay."
I've noticed this can happen so many times -- even while reading, when I get to the hard stuff (or material reminiscent of same, sometimes far-fetched, I can find myself in the "zone". The worst, of course, is when it interferes with people interactions. There it's harder to explain, but I've noticed I can sense when it might happen and somewhat when it does.
I wish you well, but first things first -- it's normal, you're ok, and you have noticed its presence, and perhaps understood it isn't the end of the world, that many of us experience the same jolt to our equilibrium.