Topics

[ADVOCACY]

I missed this whole ADVOCACY section when I returned to the forum. Since the original topic was last active in June 2023, it seemed best to bring it up to date with something current.

Starting off, whenever I see the word Advocacy, I am instantly drawn to the topic. Many members, including myself are in the midst of soul searing emotional work at this time March 2023.

My thoughts this morning are exploring expectations. Because acknowledgment & apology encompass such a large area, I'll focus on acknowledgment only.
Any takers?

[Dr Diane Poole Heller talks about How to Unfreeze Trauma]

Thank you Blueberry, I remember tuning in a couple years ago. I had no problem registering and finding DAY 3, which is Wednesday January 31.

Coming back here to edit on the chance other people see this. This conference lasts from Monday January 29 to Sunday, February 4, 2024.
To register, all that's needed is a first name (doesn't have to be real) and an email. Forewarning here, you'll get marketing along the way and you'll have to unsubscribe more than once. Eventually it will stop.

You're taken to a main page where it looks like you can only BUY things, but scroll down. You'll see a bookmark this page link.

Click on that and you're on a page where each day is summarized by speaker, and their headshot photos. You'll see anything prior is Buy Now, whereas the current day is WATCH now. You'll have complete free access to anything on that day, regardless of time. Once midnight hits, I imagine it will close.

I watched Thomas Hubl Attuning to Collective Trauma and Lindsay Gibson, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her presentation was so RELEVANT and POWERFUL, I immediately checked out an ebook with a similar title and placed a hold on her most current work.

This is earth shattering, ground shaking for me because it completely explains my favorite topic, The Karpman Drama Triangle. It also speaks specifically to the "Four Horsemen of Self-Defeat"
Learned Helplessness
Passivity
Immobilization
Dissociation


Today, Dr Diane Poole Heller talks about How to Unfreeze Trauma.

Some of her points:

Memories are stored by intensity level, not by chronology
There are three time periods: the traumatic event time (how old were you?) the present, and the future.

Her points are to bring present resources, (sympathy, compassion, active listening, reassurance) from the present (therapy of otherwise) and match it to the feeling of being alone at the time the trauma was occurring. She calls this "resourcing."

We approach traumatic memory a little bit at a time, usually peripherally, not straight on. In order to "heal" or change our response, it is imperative that we honor our pace, and not try to "get it done" by rushing ahead, or even abandoning your present life to dedicate yourself to healing. Your present life, with it's schedules, roles and identities actually forms the scaffolding of the healing process.

The somatic bodily healing response can take up to 7 times longer than the cognitive processing.  Now, that's news I can use.

These hour presentations are very intense for me and I have to stop frequently, walk away and then come back. Good things nevertheless and hats off to Blueberry for making this available.     

[Part I: Being Human, Being Single]

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
Keeping the Love You Find-A Guide for Singles copyright 1992-Pocket Books

About: Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. began his career as a pastoral counselor in 1965. After his divorce in 1975, he began the study of marriage, with a focus on marital therapy that led to the development of the Imago Relationship Therapy. Various faculty appointments at Divinity Schools and affiliations with psychotherapy associations. He and his wife Helen, live in New York City and have 6 children between them.

Part I: Being Human, Being Single
1.   What's Wrong with Being Single
2.   What's Really Going on in Your Relationships
3.   The Human Journey

Part II The Imago Puzzle1: Childhood Nurturing
4.   Growing Pains: Uncovering the Wounds of Childhood
5.   Attachment and Exploration: Getting Securely Connected
6.   Identity and Competence: Becoming a Self
7.   Concern and Intimacy: Moving Out into the World
8.   Traumatized Relationships: Legacy of the Dysfunctional Family

Part III The Imago Puzzle IIL Childhood Socialization
9.   "For Your Own Good:" The Messages of Socialization
10.   Recovering the Missing Self: Love' Agenda
11.   Gender and Sexuality: Making Love, Not War

Part IV The Journey of Partnership
12.   The Imago: Recipe for Romance
13.   Partnership: The Journey to Consciousness

Part V Becoming a Conscious Single
14.   From Insight to Integration: Basic Strategies for Change
15.   New Skills, New Behavior: Steps to Self-Integration
16.    Real Love: Paradise Regained

Back book cover claims
•   Identify your Imago-the fantasy partner that your unconscious mind, which has a hidden agenda of it's own, has chosen for you.
•   break from those patterns in your parents' marriage that you have unknowingly internalized as your only relationship model
•   recognize the unfinished business of childhood that can be transformed into a conscious relationship
•   learn-and benefit from-every past relationship
•   practice new relationship skills
•   achieve the mature, nourishing, and enduring love that can immeasurably enrich your life.

CAUTION:

Those who know me know I like to read books, especially if it helps me move my recovery ahead. This is the table of contents and the bare bones. I have worked my way through about 4 parts. Let me caution you that since this book was written in 1992, whether you buy used or new, the pages are likely to be yellowed with age, perhaps the binding is flattened in places. Some of the "old" writing still has a place today, but reader beware. The exercises in this book may cause some long buried memories to surface, and the feelings associated with them may prevent you from fully learning from the suggested exercises.

The main forum page has this in red font:

ANNOUNCEMENT - A group of OOTS members are writing a book about relational trauma and Complex PTSD.  We have stories from a number of you (thank you!), and now are looking for members to complete a questionnaire to help round out the book.  Please see further information in the Announcements section at https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15705.new#new. We would appreciate your contributions to the book very much!

This link does not work for me: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15705.new#new. Screenshot of error message is attached.

Solution? Thank you.

Good morning for those who are in American Standard time zone, good day or good evening for those who are not.

I'm posting here to let members who've been around a while know I'm BeHea1thy of days gone by. That's 2014 vintage. I've "only" been absent for a couple years, but it feels like more. Life deals a full hand and I'm here to learn how to play better.

My reading continues with John LeeJohn Lee. He has specialized in "regression" recently, and this hits me right where I am!