Hey guys. I'm new here.

[GlassChild]

I work at a college. And I just found out within the last year that what doctors have been misdiagnosing as bi-polar, anxiety, and agoraphobia my whole life is actually cPTSD. I went to get tested for autism for sensory issues and came out with this diagnosis and then my father made an attempt on his life and things really took off. My CPTSD presents itself as escapism mostly and then I end up becoming uncontrollably defensive, sometimes to the point of blacking out and injuring my perceived attacker. Because of this I have lots of guilt over the harm that I've caused and lots of anger towards my family, which is the reason behind my CPTSD. I was raised in a super chaotic family, sometimes physically abusive, usually emotionally abusive.

I don't really know what else to say...I'm trying to develop hobbies? I realized recently that I haven't had any since childhood when this all started...so yeah. Hey.

[Wife#2]

Welcome to Out of the Storm. We may not like why we find ourselves here, but it sure is great to find this community! This is a very good community of non-professionals who share our recovery journey together.

It takes courage to make that first post. You're already there! We look forward to sharing with and hearing from you, as you feel safe and want to 'speak up'.

Welcome!

[Three Roses]

Hello and  welcome! If that is your real name I encourage you to change your displayed name in your Forum Profile, to preserve your anonymity.

I also have become uncontrollably defensive and lashed out verbally and sometimes physically at my perceived attacker(s). I have a lot of guilt and shame over the harm I've caused while "triggered". I'm learning about the whys and how's, and learning to overcome my past.

This is a very supportive community, where you will be listened to and heard, and validated, and not told to "just think positively" or other such nonsense. Thanks for joining!

[sanmagic7]

hey, glad you found us, and welcome.

you've taken a big first step by posting.  i've found so much caring, kindness, and support here.  wonderful people who 'get it'.  hope to hear more from you.

[Blackbird]

Hello and welcome

[GlassChild]

You guys post the nicest greetings! I'm glad I found this place.

[SunBear]

Welcome to the site  

Wishing you all the best in your journey!