Thoughts but No Intent - Dr Dismissed Me

[Boatsetsailrose]

Today I am grateful this forum is here as I feel so lonely with my own mind ...
I am having lots of self harm and suicidal thoughts .. they can include visuals of how
I don't have any plans or intent
Inner critic is so bad pulling me apart in so many ways ..
My doctor isn't empathic she just said 'do you have any intent' I said no and she just dismissed what I am experiencing mentally .. the anti depressant has been increased - just praying it works and I can get out of this distress ..
I am on the wait list for trauma therapy so that is positive

I hate my own mind .. I hate cptsd --
Feeling scared ...

Saving grace is that i am able to be kind to myself and be self compassionate ... I learnt this when in the throws of feeling so broken last yr
I have to hold on to hope .. this hard time will pass and my recovery will proceed further than it ever has before
I'm not able to work at the moment and each morning I dread waking up and facing myself .. so many people have a better life ... but of course many don't ...
life .. why do we suffer so ...

[sanmagic7]

bssr, my heart is with you during this time of torture.  i've been there - it's so raw, so open.  i hate that dismissal thing these docs do - it always makes me feel like i knew nothing about me, when i know that i'm my best person to know what's going on inside.  grrrr!  to all those un-empathetic professionals who wave us away with the flick of their hand like we're just a pesky fly.  pffffft!

yes, you're right - this, too, shall pass.  hang tough till it does.  i hope those extra meds kick in extra fast for you.  big hug!

[mourningdove]

Boatsetsailrose

 

[Three Roses]

:sits quietly beside bssr:

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you everyone .. so grateful for here where people understand and offer that empathy  x

[solongStockholm]

I'm so sorry you are feeling such pain. I don't know you but I wish I could wrap you up with the biggest hug. Just know there is someone out here who knows what you feel and believes your life is valuable. ❤

[Contessa]

And another

[Blueberry]

And another! 

[Candid]

Plus one from me.

It's a conundrum for sure. Say you plan to do it and they put you in the nuthouse, say you don't intend to do it and they send you home. If you choose the nuthouse they just drug you up and send you home anyway. But I'm glad you don't intend.

I hope the increased anti-D works for you and that the trauma therapy comes up soon.

[joyful]

  and one from me

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank u all ..
back on the original anti depressant , grateful it works but side effects to contend with ...