CPTSD OR ADHD

[Gromit]

I have been wondering lately if I am neurodivergent. I also wonder if that is why I perform so badly in job interviews, I am looking for a part time job, have been for some months, and so, far can only get casual bar work, no interview required. And I am ok at that, the bar manager considers me one of her favourites as I know what I am doing and get on with it.

Just looking through the traits of ADHD, the inattention side, is where I most relate. There also seems to be a lot of overlap with CPTSD. Or is it simply dissociation?

I mentioned it to a friend who was a little surprised, mentioned it to my masseur who thinks she is too, another introvert with many of the traits for ADHD and has been looking into it for some months.

Not that I want any more medication, but would it make people more understanding of me?

Has anyone looked into this?

G

[milkandhoney11]

Hi Gromit,
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this and also sorry for how difficult you are finding it to attend interviews and get a job. These things are truly nerve-wracking and I am feeling for you.
I don't have ADHD and I am not a health professional, but I have worked with a lot of students with ADHD and I find that, as you said, there are quite a few commonalities with common CPTSD issues, so it can be quite hard to differentiate between the two.
I don't really know your story but I think that it is quite possible that you might be experiencing both and that the two conditions are affecting each other (and might even reinforce each other in a way), so maybe you can get advice from a GP?
I know it's difficult to come to terms with things like this but maybe getting an official diagnosis might help and bring you some clarity

[Armee]

I definitely have symptoms of adhd but for me personally it feels like what is happening is best explained by trauma and ptsd and adhd symptoms are part of that but adhd is not the cause of the adhd symptoms. But I could be way wrong. Many people in my family have adhd some are helped by medicine.

[Gromit]

Looking at a group for neuro divergence on Facebook and someone said CPTSD is neuro divergence more so than ADHD or autism.

Not sure I want medication or to be neuro typical just wish that employers were not so fixated on people giving neuro typical answers to questions.

G

[OwnSide]

I've been looking into neurodivergency for a while myself. I've had friends (with ADHD) ask me if I'm autistic, and I really, really wanted a clear and unambiguous answer to that question, so I spent almost a year reading first person accounts and webcomics and such, trying to see if I "fit" in the community. (You could say it became my... special interest  )

The conclusion I eventually came to was that I was somewhere in the middle of the allistic - autistic continuum. Felt like I had a foot on both sides. Called myself neurodivergent as an umbrella term. I later learned that giftedness, apparently, also comes with many of the traits we tend to associate with ADHD and autism (ex. emotional dysregulation, sensory sensitivity, interpersonal difficulties). It made a lot of sense; that was my brand of neurodivergence. Brought me some clarity, even if I feel pretentious saying it out loud.

The relationship between neurodivergence and trauma is complicated, and I think it's different for everyone. Like milkandhoney said, they overlap and influence each other. It sounds like you're on your way to developing your own understanding for yourself.

If it's any help, here's two effects I've noticed for me:
1. Growing up not knowing I was neurodivergent was, in itself, traumatic (ex. being told "it shouldn't hurt that badly" and thinking yeah, I know, no-one else would be reacting like this so why am I?  )
2. By virtue of having a different and more sensitive nervous system, I was easier to traumatize from the start (Eggshell Therapy and Coaching speaks to this  -- https://eggshelltherapy.com/a-split-in-our-personality/).

I wish I could help you on the employer front. My fawn reflex seems to bring me enough success but I don't know what I'm doing right. Maybe those people who want a performance of neurotypicality are not the people you want to work for long-term.

[Gromit]

@Ownside that link had an interesting link to Schema which I have heard mentioned but not explained before.

I guess I should give up applying for retail jobs who have a sheet of prepared questions and expect certain specific answers, because my answers do not fit into boxes and neither do I.

G

[Armee]

 

I'm sorry Gromit. Maybe coffee shops? There seems to be more tolerance of differences there. I don't know if it's global that they cover this everywhere, but my T is hired to provide therapy for Starbucks employees in the area because many have bad trauma histories. 

[rainydiary]

It is hard to operate in a neurotypical world.

This website has offered some ideas to me specific to work:

https://askjan.org/a-to-z.cfm

[Gromit]

I did think my local supermarket would be good, they have all kinds of people there, some with obvious disabilities, but I have had several interviews there without success.

I do teach yoga classes, and people return to them, but it isn't full time, hence the search. Plus lately, when I have covered other peoples' classes there have been issues about payment. The bar work is casual, coffee shops would not be great, due to a vascular issue I should not be standing for long periods, I manage invigilating and the bar work because it is one-off events. Besides which I cannot stand the smell in coffee shops for long.

My OH has suggested dog walking, I may well explore that.

G

[Blueberry]

Hello Gromit,

I don't know about ADHD, but just seeing your post about struggling with finding a type of work you can do, other than your yoga classes resonates. I hope you can find something where you just seem to fit.