I am new to this forum. I am in a stuck state & very confused and even having trouble communicating however I have to get it together within a few hours when I pick my children up from my trigger.
There are new court dates causing triggers & the night terrors that I had been able to hide.
I can't talk to anyone and just want to walk into the woods with a tent and stay until I have turned back into nature again.
I have to fake everything right now and need to numb myself quickly but have no idea how because I live in a very rural area & can not seek help without my "trigger" using it against me in court to continue the victimization of me and my children and family.
These people have access to ALL confidential records by using influence and appointment of positions and good old fashioned money to bury the long history of there dirty little lies.
I need to be rescued by anyone who won't judge or pity me or say "oh, you are so strong you've made it this far just fake it till you make it", that is all I ever do is fake life!!!
Now I have fake everything so well when I crash a lot will tumble!
I don't want to be close to anyone!
I want to be invisible and sleep life away until it is just over!
Anyone have any quotes or ideas?
I haven't showered in two days!
I haven't used substances to numb myself but want to!
I've never been a drinker but feel like it today even though I hate alcohol.
I am out of Xanax until tomorrow & cant even bare to stand up right now and I have to!
Is anyone out there?
If this is an inappropriate post I apologize in advance.
I just don't know where to go for help?
If I trigger anyone that is not my intention!
I've been told in groups in the past not to share my truth because it is a trigger for others and in private sessions they wrote I was to eclectic and open and told them to much.
How can you tell a therapist to much about what you have gone through?
Am I not really supposed to tell all in therapy to heal?
Where do I go and what do I do?
Stuck!
There are new court dates causing triggers & the night terrors that I had been able to hide.
I can't talk to anyone and just want to walk into the woods with a tent and stay until I have turned back into nature again.
I have to fake everything right now and need to numb myself quickly but have no idea how because I live in a very rural area & can not seek help without my "trigger" using it against me in court to continue the victimization of me and my children and family.
These people have access to ALL confidential records by using influence and appointment of positions and good old fashioned money to bury the long history of there dirty little lies.
I need to be rescued by anyone who won't judge or pity me or say "oh, you are so strong you've made it this far just fake it till you make it", that is all I ever do is fake life!!!
Now I have fake everything so well when I crash a lot will tumble!
I don't want to be close to anyone!
I want to be invisible and sleep life away until it is just over!
Anyone have any quotes or ideas?
I haven't showered in two days!
I haven't used substances to numb myself but want to!
I've never been a drinker but feel like it today even though I hate alcohol.
I am out of Xanax until tomorrow & cant even bare to stand up right now and I have to!
Is anyone out there?
If this is an inappropriate post I apologize in advance.
I just don't know where to go for help?
If I trigger anyone that is not my intention!
I've been told in groups in the past not to share my truth because it is a trigger for others and in private sessions they wrote I was to eclectic and open and told them to much.
How can you tell a therapist to much about what you have gone through?
Am I not really supposed to tell all in therapy to heal?
Where do I go and what do I do?
Stuck!