Reestablishing contact with my baby sister after 25 years

Started by GoSlash27, April 14, 2024, 03:15:25 AM

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GoSlash27

All,
 Don't mind me, just rambling a bit...

 I cut all contact with my FoO 25 years ago, moved halfway across the country and never looked back. Then just last month I got excited because I'd found a picture of my father (biological father, not my mother's abusive boyfriend) online. All of our childhood pictures had been destroyed in a flood and my father's widow had estranged the entire family, so we had no pictures of him.

 I reestablished contact with the surviving family members to pass it on. Oddly, my baby sister was very interested in reestablishing a relationship with me. I was (and still am) very leery about this. I cut them all out for a reason.

 My baby sister and I were very close when young. We had all been sent to foster care when she was just a baby and her foster parents fought my mother for years for custody. By the time she returned to us, I had forgotten that I even had a little sister.

 She showed up at 4 years old. I was 6. She was deaf and had no friends. She latched onto me and I loved that. We were like the 'wonder twins' for 2 years or so. Life wasn't perfect by any stretch (our mother was abusive), but we loved each other.

 The following years weren't kind to any of us, especially not her. And she withdrew from me. Even though I was the only male in her life who was always kind to her, protective of her, and never abused her, she grew to hate me anyway for being a boy and developed a terrible personality. I always resented that.

 So when we reestablished contact, I was surprised that she wanted to reestablish a relationship with me. She seemed like she had really changed, so I proceeded with caution. We're like 2 porcupines trying to hug.

 She was the one that dropped that documentary on me that's disrupted my whole life. She didn't mean to; she had assumed that since she had been in therapy for cPTSD all those years that I had been too. I didn't even know what cPTSD *was*! I had been living in this mode for 30 years and thought I was "normal". I was totally unprepared for that.

 We communicate every day on Discord now for a couple hours. I'm hopeful and fearful at the same time.

Thanks for putting up with me,
-Slashy
 

Kizzie

That's good to hear Slashy.  I love the image of two porcupines trying to hug BTW, so true for a lot of us.

I hope things continue to go well!