Messages

Yep, the inner critic is banging away at us , telling us were not good enough. We can let it pass otr tell it to shut up, but the self doubt can become overpowering.

On top of an already stressful job and stressful colleagues sometimes. 

Ive never wanted the responsibility of management etc in my jobs and i know others likewise, dont need the stress!! ie flashbacks with CPSTD now i realise.

I work on my own now , which has many benefits for people with CPTSD , so there is less intrusive thought, but the downside is loneliness and mind numbingly dull.

I used to work in an office doing the same job with a narcisstic/psychopathic boss, (ironically i think he suffered badly from CPSTD ) so im grateful i dont have to go back to that. My heart would sink seeing his car in car park, would i cop it today, or a colleague

Tinnitus is often linked to endotoxins  and poor  gut health, which is linked to hypothyroidism. Ive had both as long as i can remember.

Ive only just joined the site and have been reading many posts.   

So much resonates, phrases used, im glad you are in contact with your anger, i wasnt able to.

All this * , guilt,  manipulation

All power to you

Have you been tested for hypothyroidism?  Fibromyalgia is a very common symptom

This is is the problem with growing up in a PD family. Youll never get validation from them.

Although i have tried over the years especially my uNPD father. If i ever try to bring up my now dead uBPD mother , he refutes to discuss her in anyway negatively or criticise her. He doesnt want anyone to upset his fantasy  and it was a fantasy.

If i press him , its "she was a wonderful mother" " she was disappointed with her  children"  He dissociated all his life and dismisses my pain. He wont recognise the causes. He doesnt want to go there, the problems are mine and nothing to do with my family

Its a pointless exercise , but i still fall into the trap.

After reading about CPTSD and its symptoms, i could really relate. I realised i have suffered hypervigilance since my late teens. I am now 51.

I read it was something to do with narcissism, but the hypervigilance seems nearer to the mark or are they related ?

My T thinks ive done it all my life, i dont know.

I just became aware of it when i was being bullied at school and home . The constant need to check whether someones looking at you or not, in the classroom, in the street, in the office, all the bloody time.

I think i had a ubpd mother and ive read that their children can develop a fear of attack and hypervigilance seems to be a defense mechanism?

If i went anywhere regularly i would have to develop a paranoia about someone, i convinced myself they didnt like me

My T said i should try and resist the urge, but it makes me feel anxious.

Does anyone else suffer this?

Hi everyone , thanks for the welcomes.

Im flitting between here and OOTF, where ive just vented about my uNPD  90 year old dad!

I had just seen my therapist and he assures me im not a borderline, as i have too much insight. !! But i have some definite narc traits. Like the sound of my own voice, stuck on transmit, never receive enough!!!

Ive always been aware of my issues and read loads and loads and loads..but it doesnt take away the pain. I think its something we have to learn to cope with and hopefully heal, but the best part of my life is now behind me.

Im interested about these fleas!!

So i hope i can provide some insight and obviously gain from others. Thanks once again

Hi,i was directed here from OOTF.

I believe i have quite  a few issues from being raised in a PD family. Mother uBPD Father uNarc. I have narc/borderline/schizoid issues too, or are they fleas. I think PTSD would be normal for someone raised in such a family.

I am 51 year old male and in therapy again. Just liked to say hi and good luck to everyone.

Will look forward to reading the threads and posts and maybe post myself ( of course i will , the narc in me demands it , LOL).

Hope a problem shared and all that.......

Thanks once again