I am new to the fourm and this is my first post... I feel completely alone and don't know what to do anymore.
I have been on the journey of trauma therapy for a while now and started EMDR last fall. It did not go well and I ended up majorly suicidal and was hospitalized. I have been getting stronger and better since that time but this week has felt like a huge setback. My therapist and I have spent months preparing my grounding/resourcing skills so that I would be more prepared for EMDR to target my CPTSD traumas. The session was incredibly difficult, intense, and emotional. It felt like progress though. BUT now I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I feel self-destructive but have been able to not act on any behaviors. Does anyone else feel like this after EMDR or other trauma therapy? I have tried confiding in my husband and feel like I am just a huge burden for him. He doesn't seem to believe in me or that EMDR is worth it because I have been "emotional this week." I also shared that I feared "being too much for him and everyone" and he said that I "am being too much right now." I am so hurt but I guess he is right?? I am always terrified to really be myself and share with others out of fear of being too much and a burden and last night I feel like he confirmed that I am. Any support and ways others may relate would be helpful. Thanks for reading!
I have been on the journey of trauma therapy for a while now and started EMDR last fall. It did not go well and I ended up majorly suicidal and was hospitalized. I have been getting stronger and better since that time but this week has felt like a huge setback. My therapist and I have spent months preparing my grounding/resourcing skills so that I would be more prepared for EMDR to target my CPTSD traumas. The session was incredibly difficult, intense, and emotional. It felt like progress though. BUT now I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I feel self-destructive but have been able to not act on any behaviors. Does anyone else feel like this after EMDR or other trauma therapy? I have tried confiding in my husband and feel like I am just a huge burden for him. He doesn't seem to believe in me or that EMDR is worth it because I have been "emotional this week." I also shared that I feared "being too much for him and everyone" and he said that I "am being too much right now." I am so hurt but I guess he is right?? I am always terrified to really be myself and share with others out of fear of being too much and a burden and last night I feel like he confirmed that I am. Any support and ways others may relate would be helpful. Thanks for reading!