There are certainly parts of this I could have wrote myself. Ostracism is cruel. I haven't talked to my sister in a year. Her children and grandchildren are the largest part of my family. I limit contact with my mom and when I do talk to her she fills me in on everything I was excluded from. For sure, if I received an email like the one you received I would be huge emotional flashback.
I try to remind myself that I CAN choose my family. Also, if not related I would have never chose them to be my family. I once sat down and did 11 grief letters then shared them with my therapist. After talking about it, it did help me accept the situation I am in. My sister once told me that she is so busy explaining why she is right that she doesn't consider the other person's perspective. I had hope with that insight and it was forgotten quickly by her.
I've come to the conclusion that until she is wiling to work on herself I am better off without her. Unfortunately, that means I no longer have a relationship with anyone. I try very much try to remember how horrible I felt when we were talking. With the control, mean statements, and ridicule that I suffered. I realize I actually have less bad days of feeling left out than I did when we were talking and I took the abuse.
I am sorry this is happening to you. I get the gut wrenching sadness that comes with it.
I try to remind myself that I CAN choose my family. Also, if not related I would have never chose them to be my family. I once sat down and did 11 grief letters then shared them with my therapist. After talking about it, it did help me accept the situation I am in. My sister once told me that she is so busy explaining why she is right that she doesn't consider the other person's perspective. I had hope with that insight and it was forgotten quickly by her.
I've come to the conclusion that until she is wiling to work on herself I am better off without her. Unfortunately, that means I no longer have a relationship with anyone. I try very much try to remember how horrible I felt when we were talking. With the control, mean statements, and ridicule that I suffered. I realize I actually have less bad days of feeling left out than I did when we were talking and I took the abuse.
I am sorry this is happening to you. I get the gut wrenching sadness that comes with it.