Hello all and thank you for creating this safe space to explore and hopefully heal.
I was first introduced to the concept of CPTSD last year but I literally scoffed at the idea. PTSD is for combat vets or disaster survivors, right? Not some 40 something who was sexually assaulted as a child. I have always chosen to believe that I wouldn't let that abuse define me and am now finding out, it absolutely has! My hair-trigger fight/flight reactions to any amount of undue stress; my unhealthy self-soothing methods of numbing out.
I'm both grateful to now begin to understand what I've never understood before and I'm mad that I've wasted as many years as I have spinning my wheels.
My marriage is likely going to end over this as my husband sees my previous actions as a conscious choice and it's difficult for me to advocate for myself as I am still feeling like it's a cop out to hide behind cptsd as a reason.
It's all very frustrating and overwhelming but I'm committed to learning all I can.
I was first introduced to the concept of CPTSD last year but I literally scoffed at the idea. PTSD is for combat vets or disaster survivors, right? Not some 40 something who was sexually assaulted as a child. I have always chosen to believe that I wouldn't let that abuse define me and am now finding out, it absolutely has! My hair-trigger fight/flight reactions to any amount of undue stress; my unhealthy self-soothing methods of numbing out.
I'm both grateful to now begin to understand what I've never understood before and I'm mad that I've wasted as many years as I have spinning my wheels.
My marriage is likely going to end over this as my husband sees my previous actions as a conscious choice and it's difficult for me to advocate for myself as I am still feeling like it's a cop out to hide behind cptsd as a reason.
It's all very frustrating and overwhelming but I'm committed to learning all I can.