Good Day

[LearnToLoveTheRide]

Hi

I replied to a thread over the weekend so I thought I'd better introduce myself.

I developed adult onset C-PTSD as a result of being exposed to my wife's developing psychiatric condition. It was an absolute nightmare living with her, but I thought I could help her. I thought that if I just tried harder, researched more, was more patient, got involved in her treatment, that I could help her.



8 years later I'm a wreck, literally. My psychologist told me that it was officially a rainy day and that I should get the * out of Dodge. I packed my sons, a bag of clothes, a box of toys and we hit the road. We were on the road for four days and now we've settled in a quiet, coastal village.

I have no idea what is going to happen to me...

LTLTR

[Three Roses]

Welcome, LTLTR! I want to make sure you are aware of our sister site, http://outofthefog.website - this website is for people who have been affected by another's personality disorder or mental illness.

As far as understanding what has happened to you as a result of all this, there are two excellent books: The Body Keeps The Score (also available in audio version on YouTube - https://youtu.be/EKjBM6MxTKg part 1 and https://youtu.be/KSo699qcHfQ part 2); and CPTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker, who also has a website (http://pete-walker.com).

You've taken some important steps to safeguard you and your children, I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.

[Rainagain]

Hello again LTLTR,

You did the best you could for as long as you could. I don't know why its the stand up people who get cptsd but it seems that way.

I really hope your fresh start is also the start of your recovery, plenty of good people here to offer support.

I got CPTSD a few years back through employment, I hung in there longer than I should have, hindsight is wonderful.

I hope you can still get support from your psychologist? Or maybe you will quickly meet people through taking your boys to school and stuff?

Isolation feels safe but support is better I think.

Anyway, I'm just trying to work it all out, no answers but plenty of questions still.

I'm really glad you are here.

[sanmagic7]

welcome, ltltr, very glad you're here.

also very glad you were able to get out before even more damage was done, to both you and your boys.   i hope your fresh start proves to be positive all around.

information has been so important to me in order to understand what's going on, how this all happened, and what i can do to get healing and resolution.  as rain said, there are wonderful people here, kind and caring.  i think you've made a good first step in recovery.

[Blueberry]

also very glad you were able to get out before even more damage was done, to both you and your boys.   

because lots of us on here with Childhood Onset have it because we weren't rescued in childhood. The other parent didn't think to protect us or get us out of there. You have done so for yourself and for your boys and that's great. 

[LearnToLoveTheRide]

Thank you to everyone for your welcome messages and words of advice and support.

I came via the website so will check those resources out, thanks.

@Rainagain: no need to answer but I was a volunteer Paramedic on the Cape Flats - currently standing at 9th highest murder rate in the world, including countries at war - for 10 years. To me the work was rewarding and developed a deep seated compassion and empathy for Humanity.

But that was outside the home. What went on in the home was awful. I filed domestic abuse papers with the courts and they kept mistaking me for the defendant not the complainant.

I hope I can contribute to the forum as well as everyone else.

Amitofu

[Rainagain]

Your boys are going to be so proud of you once they are old enough to understand.