That phrase also rubs me the wrong way. Especially since my NF used it all the freakin' time, to get out of taking responsibility for his actions. "I meant well".
Sure, there are situations when assuming (or knowing about) positive intentions can help you to look at things from a more compassionate standpoint. That can be helpful.
However, I don't think blatant abuse is one of those situations. Especially since those positive intentions don't translate into changed behaviour when you let that person know you're hurt.
For these situations, I've learned to respond with the following: If you punch me in the face, it doesn't matter what your intentions were, I still have a black eye. So obviously, if you continue that behaviour, no matter what your intentions, i'm going to take a step back. Purely for self preservation.
Sure, there are situations when assuming (or knowing about) positive intentions can help you to look at things from a more compassionate standpoint. That can be helpful.
However, I don't think blatant abuse is one of those situations. Especially since those positive intentions don't translate into changed behaviour when you let that person know you're hurt.
For these situations, I've learned to respond with the following: If you punch me in the face, it doesn't matter what your intentions were, I still have a black eye. So obviously, if you continue that behaviour, no matter what your intentions, i'm going to take a step back. Purely for self preservation.