New guy checking in

[blackaltis07]

Hello everyone, I thought I'd introduce myself. I've been struggling with C-PTSD in some form or another since early childhood, though I haven't been diagnosed until recently. I just began exploring these issues with my wonderful therapist over the past few weeks, and although I know it will be worth it in the long run, it's been * to dredge up memories that have been blocked for all these years. I swear, the time that we have been working on this, and the months leading up to it, have been a mess of flashback after flashback, trigger after trigger. I've never felt so damaged; sometimes I truly feel like I won't survive. Digging up these old memories has triggered shame and humiliation like I've never felt before...like I said, I know this will all be worth it, but right now it's even harder than normal to function.

The only positive is that this just reinforces what I swore to myself the day my two-year-old daughter was born: that she will never know the pain of having to live with an abusive father.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble, and I look forward to getting to know you!

[Three Roses]

Thanks for joining! 

[sanmagic7]

so very glad you're here, and really glad you have a good therapist. 

welcome to this forum.  it's been so helpful to me, the people have been so supportive and have really gotten me thru some truly awful times.   i admire you for making sure your daughter will not have the same experience with her father.  you'll be a great dad.  sending you a hug, if you want. 

[Dee]

Welcome!

[rbswan]

I felt, and sometimes still feel, the same way.  Welcome!  I hope you find the identification, education, support and hope that I have found here.   

[ah]

Hi, welcome 
And I know how you feel... definitely. I'm glad you're here.

[puppies4thesad]

Hi there,

To hear a father suffering from cptsd say that their daughter will not have to go through what they did really lifts me. I think of what I missed out on and how it shaped me and knowing that there are ppl out there trying to nip this uneccessary cycle in the bud gives me so much hope. I'm so glad you have a therapist to guide you through this. Here in the uk there are massive waiting lists for therapy on the nhs.

[Sceal]

Hello and welcome! 

[BlancaLap]

Welcome!