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I have been trying out different ideas for art therapy. I find that I can find words for what I feel if I start with an image. I am not skilled with drawing but skilled with seeing ideas and using them in new ways and I wanted to share a few ideas.

Our Dollar Tree has rubbing plates in the educational section. You place them under paper and rub the side of a crayon over it to get the image to transfer to your paper. They have different options and I thought I would give you a general idea of what I have been doing with them.

One is of a brick wall- I added words about the walls I put up or the walls I am tearing down, or the walls I need to build, etc.

One is a shell- I wrote about coming out of the shell of silence, the ability to hear the calming sea when I am upset, etc.

One is of flowers- I wrote about the fact that I can look beautiful to others but feel like a weed wilting under weed killer, about the flower I was born to be but weeds and bugs ate at me, etc.

I also cut words out of a book I was getting rid of and pasted them in a different order to speak for me.

I hope that this gives ideas on how to pull out of yourself what you don't know how to say.

Thank you to each who have replied to my post.

I am honored that you took the time to respond. Right now I'm so incredibly selfish- most of my life is revolving around how I am doing with this stuff. I have had a headache for 5 months (doctors are slower than molasses) and it doesn't let me keep my walls up that had allowed me to shut off my thoughts and feelings. Now that I can't stuff it all, I am finding out how angry and sad I am.

My counselor is letting me email him as often as I want. He is struggling to keep up with me. That's fine- part of the deal we made is understanding that he can't respond to everything in the emails. It is hard to do anything but process this stuff because the pain gets really bad if I don't discharge the stress.

I was starting to make bad decisions because of all the stuff surfacing. Thankfully, he told me that he hopes that I will soon start making better decisions because that kinda woke me up.

But I am having to get tested for STD's as a result of some poor choices. And I am very susceptible to 2 side effects of medications so the Dr is sending me to an infectious disease Dr to get the prescription. It may just be a UTI or yeast infection but we are waiting on the test results for the other possibilities.

It wasn't a good idea to listen to flattery when I felt unlovable and in a lot of pain.

I am working on understanding myself and making sure that I learn how to make myself safe (beyond condoms) when I feel vulnerable.

It's time for me to get started on my day. I feel better equipped for having posted...

I am new here. I have been working on connecting with the emotions related to the trauma I went through as a child. I am struggling with the anger, the betrayal of the other parent, the lack of protection and more. I'm sad that my childhood was stolen from me. I'm exhausted from trying to cope with my feelings. It's incredibly intense.