Hi guys
I've been with my therapist for about 4 years. I went every week for the first 7or 8 months, then every fortnight for another 7 or 8 months, then monthly for 4 or 5 months. Since then I've only had and hoc appointments when things get on top of me.
I have told my therapist EVERYTHING. She knows all the traumas I've been through, and ask the people who've been in my life. She is very good at remembering all these, especially as I don't see her regularly anymore.
She is a relational therapist, and looks at relationships and how we interact, and how those interactions make us feel. She has made me realise how damaging my mother was in my life. She also listened to me, without judgment, with regards to my relationship with my teenage daughter - which was very turbulent when I started therapy. My relationship with my daughter is much better and stable - but I also think this is due to her needing me during lockdown.
I can genuinely say that my therapist had helped me with lots of issues. She also helps to have someone to talk to, as she knows all about me. But sometimes she seems genuinely stumped and is unable to come up with ideas or resources when I have a specific problem.
I spoke with her about six or seven months ago as my daughter was exhibiting eating disorder behaviours. I asked her a direct question of how I feel with it. She seemed uncertain. However by the end of the session she had suggested that the behaviour was the symptom, not the cause. This was helpful. She did send me some helpline details afterwards.
Most of my issues boil down to repeated issues, i.e. self esteem, inner critic, perfectionism. And these issues are usually triggered by work. So the sequence of events are, that I'll get wound up, have a therapy session, rant, and then go away until the next time I get overwhelmed.
I've come to realise, and to partially accept that changing jobs won't solve my problems. I am always going to be me, and act like me. So I need some tactics for dealing with things when I'm overwhelmed. I also need some practical ideas of keeping myself from reacting and the pressure building. I also need a way to track my mood/feelings, so I spot that I'm spiralling before things get bad.
Last Wednesday I had a therapy session, it was quite close to my last session. As a consequence I was as wound up. I was more lucid and articulate.
I asked my therapist for tactics and self help methods. She had nothing to offer, but was due to have a catch up session with her supervisor and said she'd raise it. She did ask pertinent questions as to the roots cause. I explained my fear of being told off or being in trouble. We explored that, and the conversation turned to my mum. My therapist agreed with all the points I was raising. I felt better for talking about things.
It's a few days after my appointment, and I've not heard back from my therapist. I was hoping she, or her supervisor, could recommend some methods of dealing with things. But they haven't been in touch. I can only assume they have nothing to recommend.
So, in wondering if there's any point in continuing with her. It's great that she knows all about me, and who's who in my life. She has been helpful most of the time. She also has allowed a few sessions to over run when we've been making progress.
The drawbacks are that she's never given me a diagnosis (although that's not uncommon in the UK). And sometimes I think she's not interested in what I say - but it might be that she's just letting me rant. Maybe she is just seeing her role as someone who listens. I've often said that I don't know what to do, how to deal with things - she just looks blankly at me. Even if I ask her what options are available, she is reluctant to subject exercises or tactics. This maybe down to her style but leaves me feeling frustrated and ignored.
The thought of starting with someone else is daunting. If have to go over old ground again, and we'd have to take time to get to know each other. Then there's the cost of those sessions - it'd have to be private treatment (i.e. not NHS, and I'm not insured). But the main reason that puts me off is finding a good fit - it's hard to find someone you feel comfortable with and like.
Ideally, if I did find a new therapist, it'd be someone who knows how to deal with CPTSD. But it's not easy in the UK, as it's not widely recognised. And when you search for an experienced CPTSD therapist, it picks up people with experience of dealing with PTSD or trauma. Is that the same thing??
So I'm stumped what to do now.
I've been with my therapist for about 4 years. I went every week for the first 7or 8 months, then every fortnight for another 7 or 8 months, then monthly for 4 or 5 months. Since then I've only had and hoc appointments when things get on top of me.
I have told my therapist EVERYTHING. She knows all the traumas I've been through, and ask the people who've been in my life. She is very good at remembering all these, especially as I don't see her regularly anymore.
She is a relational therapist, and looks at relationships and how we interact, and how those interactions make us feel. She has made me realise how damaging my mother was in my life. She also listened to me, without judgment, with regards to my relationship with my teenage daughter - which was very turbulent when I started therapy. My relationship with my daughter is much better and stable - but I also think this is due to her needing me during lockdown.
I can genuinely say that my therapist had helped me with lots of issues. She also helps to have someone to talk to, as she knows all about me. But sometimes she seems genuinely stumped and is unable to come up with ideas or resources when I have a specific problem.
I spoke with her about six or seven months ago as my daughter was exhibiting eating disorder behaviours. I asked her a direct question of how I feel with it. She seemed uncertain. However by the end of the session she had suggested that the behaviour was the symptom, not the cause. This was helpful. She did send me some helpline details afterwards.
Most of my issues boil down to repeated issues, i.e. self esteem, inner critic, perfectionism. And these issues are usually triggered by work. So the sequence of events are, that I'll get wound up, have a therapy session, rant, and then go away until the next time I get overwhelmed.
I've come to realise, and to partially accept that changing jobs won't solve my problems. I am always going to be me, and act like me. So I need some tactics for dealing with things when I'm overwhelmed. I also need some practical ideas of keeping myself from reacting and the pressure building. I also need a way to track my mood/feelings, so I spot that I'm spiralling before things get bad.
Last Wednesday I had a therapy session, it was quite close to my last session. As a consequence I was as wound up. I was more lucid and articulate.
I asked my therapist for tactics and self help methods. She had nothing to offer, but was due to have a catch up session with her supervisor and said she'd raise it. She did ask pertinent questions as to the roots cause. I explained my fear of being told off or being in trouble. We explored that, and the conversation turned to my mum. My therapist agreed with all the points I was raising. I felt better for talking about things.
It's a few days after my appointment, and I've not heard back from my therapist. I was hoping she, or her supervisor, could recommend some methods of dealing with things. But they haven't been in touch. I can only assume they have nothing to recommend.
So, in wondering if there's any point in continuing with her. It's great that she knows all about me, and who's who in my life. She has been helpful most of the time. She also has allowed a few sessions to over run when we've been making progress.
The drawbacks are that she's never given me a diagnosis (although that's not uncommon in the UK). And sometimes I think she's not interested in what I say - but it might be that she's just letting me rant. Maybe she is just seeing her role as someone who listens. I've often said that I don't know what to do, how to deal with things - she just looks blankly at me. Even if I ask her what options are available, she is reluctant to subject exercises or tactics. This maybe down to her style but leaves me feeling frustrated and ignored.
The thought of starting with someone else is daunting. If have to go over old ground again, and we'd have to take time to get to know each other. Then there's the cost of those sessions - it'd have to be private treatment (i.e. not NHS, and I'm not insured). But the main reason that puts me off is finding a good fit - it's hard to find someone you feel comfortable with and like.
Ideally, if I did find a new therapist, it'd be someone who knows how to deal with CPTSD. But it's not easy in the UK, as it's not widely recognised. And when you search for an experienced CPTSD therapist, it picks up people with experience of dealing with PTSD or trauma. Is that the same thing??
So I'm stumped what to do now.