I took care of my terminal mother earlier this year until she passed away a couple of months ago, it has been a major loss in my life. I am also bipolar with autoimmune disease so all of this has taken a lot out of me. Her illness and passing created an opportunity for my mother and me to see my older brother again after many years of not seeing him in part due to his terrible actions surrounding my outing my father as my abuser. My mother was the only one in my family who stood by me.
So I'm in the throes of grief, flashbacks, depression and severe anxiety. Each day I try to restart only to feel myself fall back into that hole again. It's too physically painful to do my walks, I'm exhausted so my art is out, reading is limited, I'm attempting to reboot my meditations but I keep finding myself sobbing and wanting to escape. My phone therapy sessions are adding up so I really need to find additional means of support, so I am here, one of a few stops to address this stuff that is eating me up.
So I'm in the throes of grief, flashbacks, depression and severe anxiety. Each day I try to restart only to feel myself fall back into that hole again. It's too physically painful to do my walks, I'm exhausted so my art is out, reading is limited, I'm attempting to reboot my meditations but I keep finding myself sobbing and wanting to escape. My phone therapy sessions are adding up so I really need to find additional means of support, so I am here, one of a few stops to address this stuff that is eating me up.