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you know, hope, it really hasn't been that long since you've begun to write your thoughts/feelings/emotions in an unedited fashion, so, to me, it seems the clunkiness is warranted.  we're all clunky to some degree when doing something we haven't had a lot of practice with.  the fact that you're writing your truth here deserves much recognition for its strength and courage behind it. i agree, it shows how far you've come thru your hard work.

as far as getting into therapy, that's something that will come or not - i like armee's mention of inner wisdom. if/when it feels important to do so will be your time. 

so glad you're here, hope. i see your growth.  love and hugs

i've also been a needleworker, CF, so i understand the 'dangerously' designation for a DMC sale!  i loved reading that!

congrats on getting your first check.  dang, you'd think food stamps would be part of the deal - what a bummer! i'm just so glad you finally won your case and it's coming thru to you now.  wonderful!

and, yep, i agree about the 'wannabe' writers thing.  we're writers, authors, artists, singers, dancers - all of the above and more just cuz it's what we do.  we get to define ourselves for ourselves, and that is a freedom i cherish.

love what you're doing w/ the foodstuffs.  it's great.  keep up the good work.  love and hugs

hey, CF, that sucks about the food stamps.  my D and i also rely on a food bank in town to supplement her food stamps.  sometimes we get great stuff, sometimes not so much, but those things are throwaways, so we do.  when we move, she'll have to re-register in another state, and who knows what those requirements will be?  so, yeah, i get it.

some of the things i've decided i need for the move are my cross-stitch kits i've never opened cuz i ran out of energy to do them.  also knitting needles.  i love being creative w/ my hands, and i know you do as well.  i think the gift for your bro is brilliant!  love the whole brain thing.  such fun!

i hope you keep going w/ all this.  sounds like something you're not only good at but that you enjoy.  love and hugs

it all sounds wonderful, NK.  just so glad you're back.  love and hugs

NK, so glad to hear you're better and will be home soon.  dang, i hate that this happened to you. just glad you're ok.  love and hugs

hooray for the progress, blueberry.  and another hooray for the great self care.  keeping to yourself instead of responding to others, i mean.  well done!    love and hugs

hey, PC, i agree w/ all of the above.  yay!  love and hugs

CF, i'm part of that system, and i think inefficient is a kind word to use for it.  i hate ever having to do anything with them.  i'm glad you got your stuff straightened out, tho.  yeah, script reading drives me nuts.  ugh!

just glad it's behind you and you're on your way to getting what you need.  love and hugs

also been there, bach, including w/ the back and forth stuff.  my heart is with you as you try to find your 'self'. i get it, haven't had a lot of my 'self' during my lifetime, either.  still not sure, but i don't feel as floaty as i once did, so i think that's a step in the right direction.

hang tough, ok?  hangin' right beside you.  love and hugs

sorry you didn't get the sleep you wanted, blueberry.  keep taking care of you as best you can, ok?  love and hugs

NK, so sorry you're so sick, but glad you're getting the care you need.  we'll be here the whole time.  love and a hug filled w/ healing vibes for you

indeed, it is lovely.  i'm back, going thru w/drawal, just need a quiet, safe place to let my body do its thing.  this is the healing porch, after all, and i just let out a sigh of relief it's here.  i'm sitting in the cabin off to the side of the original porch, listening to the birds and insects, breeze thru the trees, a lovely fire, and a book i haven't read in a while. mmmm . . .

blueberry, i understand the teeter totter thing about accomplishing a lot one day, wiped out the next.  i think you're doing a lot, and a big yay! for your meditation practice.  even if you don't do it every day, each day that you manage it means something pos. for you, and that's a good thing, right?  keep going, one foot in front of the other.  we got this.

lots to unpack in your conversion order thread. interesting. i looked it up. i can relate to some of it. love and hugs

 

hope, that's a lot of info on our sleeping state and what our minds might be doing during it.  thanks. it makes sense.  i'm glad your partner has noted you've not been having so many so intensely of late.  sorry you have to go thru this at all.  i hope it continues to get better as your mind continues to make progress thru it all.  i think your routine might be helping as well. keep up the good work!  love and hugs