Hi all,
I have a lot of songs that connect me to my trauma, as a means of helping me get into processing. Some bring up sadness, some bring up anger, some bring up loneliness - but i see it as processing as i am blocked off.
Here are some of mine:
- i will survive by gloria gaynor
- Nothing else matters (metallica)
- Concrete Angle (Martina McBride)
- It shouldnt hurt to be a child (very triggering) - unsure of writter
- I dont care by Apocalyptica
keen to see what others have also?
thanks
In the blood by John mayer
Daddy by coldplay
My immortal by evanescence
Because of you by Kelly clarkson
I have two playlists for this, one with songs relating to my trauma and one for uplifting songs.
some of my favs from each category are:
je vole - Louane
back to school - Mother Mother
the family jewels - Marina and the Diamonds
the water - Hurts (not really dirctly about Trauma i think but I interpret it to describe the experience of living with (C-)PTSD
No need to argue - the Cramberries
Numb - Linkin Park
Tomorrow from the Annie Musical
survivor - Destiny's Child
stronger - Britney Spears
- Tomorrow will be Kinder - The Secret Sisters
- I Can See Clearly Now (the Rain is Gone) - Jimmy Cliff
- Tubthumping (I get knocked down, but I get up again) - Chumbawamba
- Wildflowers - Tom Petty. "Far away from your troubles and worries, you belong somewhere you feel free"
Leonard Cohen - Story of Isaac
Leonard Cohen - Bird on a Wire
Excellent question! Sometimes it feels like rock stars are the only ones who understand. The ones that get me the most, just to name a few..
"Change" by Blind Melon
"Ripple" by Grateful Dead
"I'm Goin Down" by Mary J Blige
"The Morning After" by Faith no More
"To Forgive" by Smashing Pumpkins
"Stumbleine" by Smashing Pumpkins
"Soma" by Smashing Pumpkins ("I'll betray myself to anyone lost in our ruse of fools"... omg!! Given me goosebumps for 30 yrs)
"Exit Music" - by Radiohead
"She's leaving Home" by the Beatles
"Estranged" by Guns N' Roses
"The Convo" by DMX
"Shame in You" - Alice in Chains
I need to download all these and give them a listen. Many I'm not familiar with.
I like the Grass is Blue by Dolly Parton, Wildflowers by Tom Petty, You'll Never Walk Alone performed by Brittany Howard and Chris Martin, and Stuck in a Moment by U2.
And hah now that I read down to others I see Wildflowers also on Papa Cocos list. And I also adore I Can See Clearly Now, which was the song my husband picked out for our wedding.
This artist makes a lot of songs about trauma and mental illness. This is one that I relate to heavily.
"Mary" by Patty Griffin gets me every time. So very, very different from my own mother.
A song that helps me is "Take me to the Mardi Gras" by Paul Simon. I've loved the song since I first heard it but it has been speaking to me more, recently. It contains the lines "Take your burdens to the Mardi Gras; Let the music wash your soul". I've started taking people to the Mardi Gras, metaphorically. If someone has been troubling me (it might be someone I currently know or someone from my past) I imagine going to the Mardi Gras with them and then seeing whether I lose them in the crowd. Sometimes they vanish quite fast with never a backward glance. Sometimes they say goodbye and agree to go. Sometimes they try to hold on to me and I have to give them the slip. Sometimes we hold hands and come out together. My therapist knows I take people to the Mardi Gras but she does not know that I took her to the Mardi Gras quite early in our relationship, when she did something that made me angry. I realised my anger was my trauma surfacing and came out with her to continue our work together. Some people won't even go there with me and that tells its own story.
OMG Collie, that should be the theme song for CPTSD/CRTR! I like this one as the theme song for OOTS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFZmT-LRMBM - gives me goosebumps.
NarcKiddo - that is really interesting way of dealing with people :)
Song about abusive parents. Might be triggering. But I relate to it.
OK Collie, you are officially in charge of the music in this sub-forum lol :thumbup: Just kidding. This song is definitely relatable. The line "How could you?" says it all IMO.
Thank you :)
Here is one I just found from the first artist I shared, he has a lot of really good ones. This one is a snippet for the time being, looking forward to the whole song
In a word, wow. He's fierce (good thing IMO), I can only imagine being his therapist.
So true isn't it? Vulnerability takes courage, for many people really, but for those us who were abused more when we were vulnerable it can be terrifying.
Wow is right on this last song shared. Goosebumps - there is nothing stopping him from being vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing. :)
I'm not huge into music, but I felt like dedicating a song to OOTS. So, this one is for you.
We met one day when I thought I was an alien
I told you to get a costume and dance with me like an alien
You told me that you were not quite a good dancer
I told you that I think it doesn't matter
We would just look dumber than we think we were
Then you looked at me as if I was a freak
But you said you like freaky people
So I thought you might like me a little bit
We met one day when I thought I was an alien
I told you to get a costume and dance with me like an alien
And you did
And you did
This one is really different Bermuda but I (think I) get it. Non-survivors meeting us where we're at perhaps?
To me the song lyrics Bermuda posted speak to that feeling that we are so different that it feels like we are almost aliens from another planet, and how it feels to finally find this group here where we can be ourselves and be understood so easily.
Well now that's true isn't it?! :spaceship:
I relate to this song a lot
I think a lot of us (survivors) lock the windows and bolt the doors to us, out authentic selves that is. Another good pick Collie, tks.
I have a lot of songs actually. It's part of how I process things I think
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM1OzLKcBY8
This is the song I want played at my funeral. It sums up my life better than any I've ever heard. The chorus, "Dream, dream, dream all your time away." That's me.
I'd never heard of Joseph Arthur before. I heard this song being played on an episode of "House" on TV. The power of the internet helped me identify and download it into my Apple Music library. It rapidly became the best song I've ever connected to.
I'm not religious but I'm spiritually minded. To me, the reference here to "When will Jesus find us here?" is really talking about when each of us will pass through the door between heaven and earth. Which is something I think about all the time.
Could We Survive, by Joseph Arthur.
Hallelujah, stop and stare
When will Jesus find us here?
Could we survive?
How can you pretend to know
Who you are or where you'll go
When you just get by?
Hm, dream, dream all the time away
Hm, dream, dream all your time away
Oh
My father's mother sings this song
My mother's father's gone beyond
The clouds, the rain
Let him protect me from above
I can feel that tender love
When I'm in pain
Hm, dream, dream all the time away
Hm, dream, dream all your time away
Oh
Beautiful
Lovely song Jim :hug:
I always loved this song and it kept me focused on breaking the cycle when raising our son. It's by The Rankins and is called "We Rise Again" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C5IoSnPEIY. It's actually about the rise and fall of Cape Breton economically as it has always had some rough times, but it spoke to me about parenting and the impact we have on our children, that how we parent goes on after we pass down throughout the generations.
When the waves roll on over the waters
And the ocean cries
We look to our sons and daughters
To explain our lives
As if a child could tell us why
That as sure as the sunrise
As sure as the sea
As sure as the wind in the trees
We rise again in the faces
Of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
When the light goes dark with the forces of creation
Across a stormy sky
We look to reincarnation to explain our lives
As if a child could tell us why
That as sure as the sunrise
As sure as the sea
As sure as the wind in the trees
We rise again in the faces
Of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
We rise again in the faces
Of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
I think the song I associate the most with my trauma is
Waltz #2 by Elliott Smith. It has for years now, succinctly and viscerally reflected exactly how I feel about my mother.
"I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow"
That's how I feel about my mother now. I will never fully know her or trust her again. She has ruined that by her own decisions. But I can still love her despite that, just not in the way a child usually would.
:hug:
Feeling a bit triggered, a bit nostalgic... I was looking, to see who had died, who is no longer around, and where the bad people are, as I do sometimes. It hit me, that I don't remember people's names anymore, I'm not sure I would recognise them in front of me. One of my brothers looks like my father now, I saw his linkedin. This song started playing in my mind. When I think about my time hiding in a grassy field, I think of this song.
Emmy The Great - City Song
The city called me, so I came
It isn't mine to question what it said
I sleep until the point when I'm awake
I walk until there's nothing left to tread
And everyone was looking for answer
And everyone was waiting for a break
I came and I was bored of it soon after
But I had nowhere to go, and so I stayed
I dreamed a lifetime of this place
It seemed an awful thing to waste
Oh, the morning fills my mouth up with decay
But I like it, it reminds me how you taste
Sometimes I feel you rising up behind me like the wind
But I still try to look away
And what will you look like when you're old?
What will I do if I don't know you?
I guess that I decided not to ask the day I took the road
Down to the city as it called
Sun making silhouettes of gauze
I don't remember you at all
So the city called me and I came
It isn't mine to question why
Sometimes the clouds will part ahead, I hear your name
It's like a choir in the sky
And what will you look like when you're old?
What will I do if I don't know you?
I guess that I decided not to ask the day I took the road
Down to the city as it called
Sun making silhouettes of gauze
I don't remember you at all
They pulled a human from my waist
It had your mouth, it had your face
I would have kept it if I'd stayed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIUdz1lUK6I
Wow its like that song was written for you.
This is how I feel sometimes, I just need permission to FEEL
Thanks for the share JRose - I quite agree. However long it takes me - just let me.
:bighug:
:hug:
One song I just found that describes this journey so well is Some Days by Brent Morgan. The lyrics are:
Some days I feel I'd make a good sunset
Some days I just don't wanna give up yet
Some days it's hard to breathe
Some days I'm over being me
Some days, some days, some days
Some days I try my best to seem happy
Some days this place seems better off without me
Some days I'm overwhelmed
Some days I'm lost inside this *
Some days, some days, some days
Some days I wonder what it's like
To live an ordinary life
Maybe I won't feel this way
Some day
Some days I feel like everyone hates me
Some days I question, "Why would God create me?"
Some days I'm holding strong
Some days I'm barely hanging on
Some days, some days, some days
Some days I wonder what it's like
To live an ordinary life
Maybe I won't feel this way
Some day
Some days I wonder what it's like
To live an ordinary life
Maybe I won't feel this way
Some day
Tks for this DD. I liked it so I found it on YouTube. This stanza hit me right in the heart:
Some days I wonder what it's like
To live an ordinary life
Maybe I won't feel this way
Some day
This just sums up my life and I know many others survivors feel this way too. I think I might suggest to the book team we use it in the book we're writing, it just speaks to what life is like for us.
So true, so sad. Still trying to work that out for myself.