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Lately all of my symptoms have gotten a lot worse, especially dissociation. I am in a closed relationship with a live in boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years and he is supportive and understanding of my CPTSD. We have always had a very active sex life, and I have always genuinely enjoyed sex. For some reason I have been dissociation during sex nearly every single time. It is awful, and makes that sexual interaction immediately unenjoyable for me. I don't normally stop the interaction because I don't want my partner to be deprived, but this has been increasing and making me aversive to sex.
Anyone experience dissociation during sex? What helps? I have tried grounding techniques that work in my everyday life but they do not seem to work in most sexual positions for me.

TW for SI and disordered eating.

Hi guys, it's been a while since I've been on here. For a while there I was doing pretty well. I felt healed and healthy, but lately I have been having a really hard time. I think this may be because I started a new job that requires me to sleep way less and work a lot. The job is not fulfilling and the boss reminds me a lot of my abuser.
Anyways, ever since I began this new job I have been having panic attacks like twice a week and have been engaging in self harm and have had a ton of SI nearly daily. It feels as if this is a never ending cycle since I can't sleep due to my anxiety and then get more anxious the next day when I am tired.
Do any of you guys relate to self harming with scratching, hair pulling or vomiting? It has been so bad that I have bald spots on my eyelids where I have been pulling out my eyelashes and I have various spots all over my body from rapid scratching. It has never been this bad before so I don't know what to do as far as coping mechanisms.
I can't go to therapy bc my work schedule doesn't allow it and i'm beginning to feel so hopeless.
Any advice or personal coping mechanisms you all use is so appreciated.
TIA

Hey guys, so I have been struggling with trying to snap back to reality while dissociating. I am no longer in an area of abuse yet whenever I feel myself getting slightly anxious I immediately disassociate. This is very frustrating for me because one I am in a state of disassociation I am unable to smoothly return to reality without a mild panic attack. I have tried the technique where you identify five things you can see, four things you can hear and so on, but I have found that while I am in a state of disassociation it is hard for me to think about my surrounding and this technique usually causes me to panic or disassociate harder. Any tips? How do you guys get back to reality??

Thank you for the advice Kizzie,
Unfortunately I go to an out of state college in a strictly online program so asking my professors for a reccomendation would not provide me with anyone able to help me in my area. I really appreciate you liking me to the different types of therapy available, and I really appreciate having an online forum of people who actually understand what is going on with me.

Hello all, this is my first time partaking in any sort of a group like this so forgive me if I am not doing this right. My name is Reyna and I am a 19 year old female. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home, and the abuse began at birth and continued until I was 12. My little sister was sexually abused my our father, and a couple of my therapists believe I was as well but am suppressing it. Regardless, I have developed intense hyper vigilance, severe anxiety, and have frequent disassociation. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD but the therapist who diagnosed me claimed that he was not confident in his ability to treat me, since my disorder is so new. Now I simply don't know where to go from here. I suppose I could try to find another therapist but I am a psychology major myself, so I am very picky with who treats me. It also makes me very anxious to have to call multiple therapists and make the appointments, and telling someone new my story is always awful. I have read to meditate and exercise but it is so hard to find time for things like that when you are depressed and in school full time as well as employed full time. Please tell me what some of the best methods of treatment you guys have found, any bit of advice helps. My boyfriend of a year insists that I try SOMETHING new, because he is the only one who I have to help me cope with my disorder and I believe that if I don't find a way to heal or a new outlet I might lose the only person who truly loves me. Please give me some advce