Messages

  Thanks for that link. I downloaded the file and will try to work through "Building Self-Compassion."

There are two faith-based songs that I have been listening to a lot lately. I feel like the writer knows my story. Both can be found on YouTube and are by the artist, Plumb.
"Need You Now"
"Beautifully Broken"

  Good for you that you were able to recognize that you were going into a flashback and then stay present enough to hear your wife. That is huge. I'm sure it was helpful for her, when you told her the next day, what was going on with you.

I certainly understand the internal debate of: "what I should delete, add, should I send it at all?" Glad you took the courageous risk to post this.

1. Friends I will see today and hugs I will give and receive.
2. My children are safe and healthy.
3. My husband and I are going on a date tonight.

Welcome. You are not alone.

I'm glad you have someone that you feel you can trust. I understand the fear of burdening someone. I feel that with my friends. I'm not sure what you are sharing, but perhaps more general information, for example, "I'm feeling a lot of fear right now," would help you to feel heard and help your partner from being overwhelmed.

I get it. I just got a part-time job three weeks ago. I also am under-employed. Even though my job is relatively stress-free, I still feel anxious before work, even if it is just a three-hour shift. Knowing that I have to be "on" is stressful. The recruiter doesn't need to know why you want the type of job you are looking for. If he/she presses you, say "For right now in my life, this is the type of job that will suit me." Keep your boundaries. I hope you find something that works for you. (If it is horrible, you can always quit.)

What an enormous blow. Definitely possible that the abuse happened and you blocked it out. I agree with Three Roses to work through this with a skilled therapist. Are you currently in therapy? So sorry that you are in this storm. You are not alone.

Welcome. Glad you are adding OOTS to your support network.

Horse,
Glad you joined this group. It is good to be able to connect with others who know what it is like to live with the struggles of C-PTSD. Welcome.

Blueberry and Kizzie,
Thank you for your encouraging words.

Brave of you to write while struggling with a fear of rejection. I can relate to that fear, as I would imagine most on this site would. Glad you took the risk.

Thank you for creating and continuing this site.

A Love Letter to Cycle Breaking Heroes - http://www.motherhoodandmore.com/2015/12/a-love-letter-to-the-cycle-breakers.html
Today I feel like a failure as a parent, wondering how much I have messed up my kids. I wanted normal, healthy lives for them. How much has my brokenness hurt them? This letter was an encouragement to me. I'm not a perfect parent, but my children are not growing up in a home of abuse. Thanks for sharing this.