After talking to an e-therapist for the last few months, we both agreed I would be a good candidate for EMDR. I've actually seen much progress since being validated at the start of this therapy about my childhood trauma and how it affects my present life. I just feel I need something a bit more progressive. I feel like I was lost for 22 years with a slight idea of why I am the way I am but no course of action. Simple learning about CPTSD has helped me tremendously. I honestly think that's when a light bulb went off in me and recovery was activated. I've been in and out of therapy and on and off meds several times, and I never felt like I was recovering because it was always addressing depression instead of my inner child. Granted, there are times I feel anguished about this struggle. Knowing there is a problem and accepting it are two different things. Accepting this mental illness is the biggest gift I can give to myself because that is where the healing begins. Whenever I feel anguish about my mental condition, I tell myself this is growing pain. I have progressed. Other people have noticed a change in me. I attribute this to Christ empowering me to do the work to heal.
Back to the main issue, I am getting a consultation for EMDR next week. I've been blessed with some extra funds which I am investing into myself. This therapy will be paid all out of pocket. It's ironic that this money stems from the first event in my childhood that begun the 10 years of trauma. I'm breaking the cycle while life comes around full circle in the most bewildering way. I will post more about my experience here in the following months.
Back to the main issue, I am getting a consultation for EMDR next week. I've been blessed with some extra funds which I am investing into myself. This therapy will be paid all out of pocket. It's ironic that this money stems from the first event in my childhood that begun the 10 years of trauma. I'm breaking the cycle while life comes around full circle in the most bewildering way. I will post more about my experience here in the following months.