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Hi, I'm a newbie here and I try and read helpful comments & forum topics. I have ADHD, the milder form of manic depressive, complex PTSD, anxiety, & depression. I'm 54. I started noticing depression symptoms when I graduated from college. I realized I couldn't show ppl a paper with straight A's anymore or be the best at a school task. A boy I hoped to date told me not to ever get fat and guess what...yep, I gained 30 lbs. I for some reason, have never met anyone with a similar diagnosis. All the friends I've had have always been pretty normal. Or at least they won't share??!!  I have always spilled my guts to people trying to get acceptance for why I'm so weird. Of course, a lot of them are just weirded out & don't know what to do with my info. I mainly just counseled & took meds for depression & eventually anxiety in the past 24 years. The PTSD diagnosis was just given to me in the past 3-4 years. ADHD in the past 8 years. I still haven't found what I've always wanted..a close friend who would try & understand & encourage me. Most friends just take advantage of my people pleaser personality.
I'm always hurt and angry when friends don't treat me as well as I would have treated them. Then I go into flashback and it will take a week or longer to feel better but I still don't know what I should expect from people nor how to Stan up for myself when I feel slighted.
I hope by reading more of your stories I will get a renewed sense of hope and learn how to be kind but still not just allow disrespectful behavior from others. And not feel as though I need to drop every person that has upset me several times.
Thanks for listening

I posted my introduction as a reply to someone else's post. I hope this is the right way to do this?!

Hi, I'm a newbie here and I try and read helpful comments & forum topics. I have ADHD, the milder form of manic depressive, complex PTSD, anxiety, & depression. I'm 54. I started noticing depression symptoms when I graduated from college. I realized I couldn't show ppl a paper with straight A's anymore or be the best at a school task. A boy I hoped to date told me not to ever get fat and guess what...yep, I gained 30 lbs. I for some reason, have never met anyone with a similar diagnosis. All the friends I've had have always been pretty normal. Or at least they won't share??!!  I have always spilled my guts to people trying to get acceptance for why I'm so weird. Of course, a lot of them are just weirded out & don't know what to do with my info. I mainly just counseled & took meds for depression & eventually anxiety in the past 24 years. The PTSD diagnosis was just given to me in the past 3-4 years. ADHD in the past 8 years. I still haven't found what I've always wanted..a close friend who would try & understand & encourage me. Most friends just take advantage of my people pleaser personality.
I'm always hurt and angry when friends don't treat me as well as I would have treated them. Then I go into flashback and it will take a week or longer to feel better but I still don't know what I should expect from people nor how to Stan up for myself when I feel slighted.
I hope by reading more of your stories I will get a renewed sense of hope and learn how to be kind but still not just allow disrespectful behavior from others. And not feel as though I need to drop every person that has upset me several times.
Thanks for listening

Thank you for All of your positive and encouraging comments. It really means a lot to me!! 

hi, I am new to this forum. I hope I have posted this correctly. I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD. I have had depression & anxiety for years (33 years), that I have sought out counseling & medication for.  I never understood why I felt so bad about myself because I minimized the mental abuse I lived with my whole life. I started being awoken at night by my Dad abusing my Mom & then stopping the fight by asking for a drink of water. There was only one time thru 3-18 years of age that I ever witnessed severe bruising of my mothers face. I didn't hear that fight. I don't remember much about that time. I just know now that I felt very alone most of my life and afraid that my Mom would die. My paternal grandma also traumatized me often by telling me how terrible my mom & dad were to her. I'd start crying, then she'd try & butter me up & tell me not to tell them. I kept her secret for years until I got old enough I couldn't anymore. No one ever talked about the abuse and secrets all those years. I was also such a people pleaser that I was bullied off and on all through school. I made really good grades to make my parents happy as well. Also, I was expected to act and be perfect. We lived in a small town. My dad is very narcissistic. I am married and have a grown daughter and 3 grown stepchildren. My husband is very nice and a good person. I am fearful a lot and fear abandonment for no reason. I'm still working on feeling better, but my inner critic has been so good at being critical, that I feel it will be even many more years before I can feel better. I'm so tired of feeling different and isolated from other people. I hope by reading some of your stories, I will feel hope and a connection. Thanks!!