One of my coping strategies growing up in my FOO was to find an isolated part of the house like the basement to avoid the abuse which would come out of nowhere unexpectedly at anytime despite my best efforts. In school I learned to just be quiet and stay as anonymous as possible. I learned to be on constant alert no matter how "safe" things seemed to be because their was no such thing as safe at home or school due to constant bullying. In my early twenties due to alot of self work I forced myself to take chances and engage in social situations that felt uncomfortable and scary. So much so that people who didn't know me then could never imagine me being shy and submissive.
But lately, due to alot of triggering, I've found myself reverting back to my old, isolationist tendancies due to my increased hypervigilence. I want to reach out to people but my inner critic is constantly searching for critical reactions towards me. The problem is when I notice someone actually being critical of me that one instance will take precedence over all the postive feedback I get from people and I isolate even more. What do I need to do?
But lately, due to alot of triggering, I've found myself reverting back to my old, isolationist tendancies due to my increased hypervigilence. I want to reach out to people but my inner critic is constantly searching for critical reactions towards me. The problem is when I notice someone actually being critical of me that one instance will take precedence over all the postive feedback I get from people and I isolate even more. What do I need to do?