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Topics - mileshope

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hi, I'm Mark
September 06, 2014, 11:25:42 PM
Hello.  I found this website recently and it clicked in my mind that I'm CPTSD.  I know that CPTSD is not officially recognized, but it should be.  I am 39 and married with 4 kids.  I'm about to be 40 next month.  I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.  I knew I had SAD long before it was established as a real disorder.  Was on meds for a while, but antidepressants don't help.  I have managed to get xanax a few times from general physicians, but they commonly don't want people to develop dependence on them.  I struggle with compulsive online chatting with other women.  It's a way for my to escape when I feel stressed or panicky.  I have struggled with other sexual behavior in the past, but have gotten it under control.  I go to a 12-step group for this.

My father is undiagnosed Aspergers with social anxiety.  He smokes constantly to manage his anxiety.  My mother was sexually and emotionally abused as a child.  She has PTSD and panic disorder as a result.  Both were emotionally neglectful to me in childhood.  I only remember two hugs in childhood from them (touch deprivation).  I have no memory of being told 'I love you.'  As a result, I constantly and consistently feel unloved and unsettled, and struggle with low self-esteem and social anxiety.  My parents divorced when I was around 11 and they essentially stopped parenting.  I became very isolated from then and onward.

Hello.  I welcome your thoughts, especially if you think this is CPTSD or attachment of what.

-Mark.