Hello, friends.

[candytron]

Hello there everyone.  I discovered this discussion board today while looking for support online around struggles in the workplace and CPTSD.

I am a 36 years old woman who has been struggling with symptoms of CPTSD for my entire adult life.  Unfortunately I was reared in a highly dysfunctional family where I endured sadistic abuse (physical, emotional) and neglect by my primary caretakers from a very young age through age 18 when I was able to leave home.  I score about a 7 on the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) assessment, however I consider myself very resilient and am, to the outside world, someone you might consider highly functional. 

That functionality is in some part due to my independent nature and being somewhat "scrappy".  I've also been fortunate to have some strong allies throughout my life.  Additionally, I've developed special gifts as a result of my experiences (I have myself to thank for this, not the abuse).  Much of my life I have struggled to build a sense of safety for myself.  Through that hard work and safety building, I've created space for healing.  The healing process has turned out to be ... quite challenging.  With my health practitioners, I have identified the need for me to slow down on my career for a while so that I can focus on this healing journey with some real intention. 

I've gone part time at work.  This is my third week in, and let me tell you, unstructured time is difficult for me.  I hope to improve my relationship to myself, and work through some of this pain that has been waiting for me to pay attention to it.  I'm always curious about finding a sense of community, as my experiences lend to an incredible sense of isolation some of the time.  A deeply engrained fear of relationship.  Nevertheless I have what I think is a strong support system of friends and allies.

Some of what I am focused on includes:
- practicing asking for help and embracing vulnerability
- tolerance of discomfort / painful emotions
- positive expression of rage / anger

I look forward to sharing some of myself, reading, and supporting the experiences of others in this community if I can.

Nice to meet you.

[Three Roses]

Welcome to you, candytron! I'm glad to meet you.

- practicing asking for help and embracing vulnerability
- tolerance of discomfort / painful emotions
- positive expression of rage / anger

This is my list, too! (Well, at least it is now. )

I look forward to hearing more from you!  Thanks for joining.

[Dee]

Welcome, I am glad you have a strong support system.  I think you will find that here as well.

[Kizzie]

Nice to meet you too Candytron    It sounds like you have done a lot in terms of recovery so good on you!    I hope being here also helps