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What would you do if you couldn't trust your husband to keep his promises anymore?

It's not like he cheats on me or physically hurts me, but I can't believe a word he says. He got laid off this summer. We both agreed that he would stay home for a while to collect unemployment and do some work on the house.

Since then, not only has he failed to file for unemployment correctly, leaving me to play the game of "what will we not pay this month," but also, he continues to make promises and break them almost daily.

He says he will take care of a bill collector, then doesn't call and lets it go to collections. He says he will fix the leak under the sink, and now it still isn't replaced and we have water damage in the basement. He says he will take out the recycling and keep the house clean, but I end up doing it every time.

I can't... I'm not strong enough to be the only adult in this relationship, but no method of communication has worked. Trust me, I've tried it all. I've tried being nice, tough love, lists, everything.

I love this man more than anyone in the planet, but I'm starting to wonder if he is what I need. It feels horrible... like the world will fall out from under me without him, but what else can I do? He refuses to help me, and I can't do this alone. I need someone to care about me enough to help me. I need him to be my partner, not my child.

We don't have the money for marriage counseling, and in fact, I've had to cancel my own therapy since he didn't get the money he said he would get. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm terrified. This has been going on for years, but now... it's like he has completely stopped caring. He won't go to a doctor, and when he goes to his therapist, he just tells them everything is fine. I'm at a loss. What do I do?

Something happened today. I was having an anxiety attack, and I started painting to relieve stress. When I was done, I went to show my husband. He looked at it for about a second and said "good. I like it," then went back to work.

This shouldn't have set me off, but every moment of frustration rolled back to me from when I would try to show my parents something I was proud of. I heard them, not him. It made me flip. I have been crying ever sense, and I know it's dumb. I know this isn't his fault, but I feel horrible.

So my question, how should I have handled this? How do I tell him that his response sent me into a spiral. I'm so low right now. He's gone for the night, and I am still freaking out. What should I have done?

Before I start doing the work, I want to address myself.

Alarrah,

You are doing so great. Seriously. It doesn't always feel that way, but you are. Look around you. You have a house, a great job, and a full pantry. All that fighting that you had to do, just to survive... It was one * of a ride, but you got here.

Now, just breathe. You're safe. You're surrounded by people who love you. You have built a life to be proud of, and you did it with no help. You kicked *. Don't forget what you are capable of because there isn't anyone else who will celebrate that for you. It's yours to own and yours to be proud of.

Alright. You've gotten through *, but now that you're on the other side, the challenge is less defined than just "staying alive." Your next task is to accept what happened and learn to love yourself. I know, I know, it sounds horrible. You really need to try though. You deserve to be loved, even if you don't want to hear that. The one thing you know for sure is that if you want something done right, do it yourself. Now you just have to figure out how. I believe in you. You've done the impossible before and you can do it again.

How do you heal when you are the only person who knows that you were abused?

I'm struggling with this. I was abused and neglected by my father and mother. I don't want to go into details, but when I went for help, they convinced everyone in our small town that I had made it up. It's easy for adults to ignore teenagers, especially weird ones, so everyone believed them. I don't know if they honestly have convinced themselves that they did nothing wrong, but everyone in my family refuses to talk to me about it. They still don't believe me. They will never believe me.

I haven't spoken to my father in years, but my mother... well, she is the lesser of two evils, and I can't be without both parents. She still hurts me though... every time I see her, it rips open wounds.

Did anyone else have this experience? Please... anyone. Tell me I am not crazy. Tell me I'm not making this up.