Not Alone: 2022

[Not Alone]

I'm so mad! I have trouble with my elbows. I was in occupational therapy for at least 9 months. (Insurance stopped paying.) Last weekend had conversation with H about vacuuming. He told me he'd do it at least twice a week. We have a shedding cat and dog and it really should be done every day. He has a lot of stuff going on with his mom, but still. . . He is fixating on his project. He did not vacuum this week. I just vacuumed because I can't live in a pigsty. Arms hurt. Just took a xanax because I am spiraling. ugh. As hard as it is to be "on" at work, I can't stand being home with H. How much longer can I live with him and his avoidance? He did come out to my car to carry groceries in, so there are times that he is aware and helpful.

I've been in various degrees of a triggered state ever since the phone issue, over three weeks ago. When you are teetering on the edge of a cliff, it doesn't take much to push you over.

[CactusFlower]

I hear you, notalone. My ex was very similar. My housework is rarely done due to fibromyalgia, but could the in-shape security guard lift a finger? Nope. Here's wishing you less pain, more energy, and gentle hugs.

[Armee]

I'm angry for you, too, Not Alone. It's such a small thing to ask. And someone who loved and respected you would have no problem doing it. I wish there were an easy way to just separate from him so you could have your own space and make your own choices.

[Not Alone]

Thank you CactusFlower and Armee. Appreciate your understanding.

After over three weeks and over eleven hours of "talking" with techs, my phone is working. I switched carriers and was able to keep my phone (which the other company insisted was the problem and needed to be replaced).

The feelings and memories that the phone issue triggered remain.

[sanmagic7]

 

[rainydiary]

I am glad your phone seems to be functioning as you had hoped it would. 

[Armee]

I'm glad the phone is working now. It doesn't erase the state of being triggered but at least it marks a point in time when thay can start to settle back down a bit.

[Hope67]

Hi Not Alone,
I'm relieved to hear your phone is working now, but I think it was horrible that you had to go through all of that, and I completely relate to what you said about the feelings that have been triggered remaining. 

I hope that you get some space this weekend to enjoy some moments, and that the feelings that were triggered will abate over time.  Sending you a hug too, if that's ok 

Hope 

[Not Alone]

Thanks for your understanding.



With working full-time, I have less time to be on OOTS. (Sadly, I have less time to care for my Littles too.) Life continues; work, marriage, dealing with trauma, relationships, etc. Touching base here in little bits, as I'm able.

[Bach]

 

[CactusFlower]

HUGS we're here for you even if you can't check in as often.

[sanmagic7]

we're still here for you, even if you don't have time or energy to make an appearance, notalone.  sounds like your life is mucho busy right now.  keep taking care of you, ok?  love and hugs, my dear.

[Armee]

 

[Not Alone]

Bach, Cactus Flower, San, & Armee,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I miss being able to connect with all of you as often as I used to. 

[Armee]

I miss you too being here and well be here to give support when you have the energy to be here. In the meantime I'm thinking of you and all the things you and the Littles are sorting through.